Friday, November 1, 2013

Just Exactly HOW Do Normal People Ride Elevators?

Last night after work I got into the elevator to find three young handsome men including a bearded redhead -- and you know I'm a total sucker for beards and for redheads. They were in the middle of a conversation but that didn't stop me from stepping right in the middle of all three of them, while maintaining eye contact with the redhead and declaring,

"OOOH! I LIKE MY CHANCES!"

And then acknowledging the awkwardness of making that joke right upon entering the elevator, not considering the time required to make a 10-floor descent, I turned back to the door and declared again,

"I SHOULD HAVE MADE THAT JOKE A LITTLE LATER IN THE ELEVATOR RIDE. HEH HEH HAHEHAHDHADHEHDHHAHHAHAHA. AWKWARD. HAHAHAHAah!!!!!"

They looked at me, confused and the redhead continued speaking, presumably where they had left off before I broke their conversation. '...and then I talked to Rosalind about it...'

And then I interrupted again, mock-angrily-crazy-eyesed, (you know, like a jealous hag over the '10-second relationship' I had just pretend garnered with the bearded red-headed cute one), cocking my head and positioning my arms across my chest:

"OH. ROSALIND. YOUR GIRLFRIEND."

"No. She's my manager." By now they realized I wasn't going to let them have their conversation and that clearly I wanted all of the attention on me. They gave me a slight pity laugh (because come on, that jealous bit was FUNNY) and then mercifully the elevator doors opened and THEN I said,

"I'M GONNA GET OUT OF HERE REALLY FAST BECAUSE I'M EMBARRASSED."

I went left when I should have went right, and then I figured it out and had to turn around and walk past them again and then I walked really really fast out of the building, with the three handsome men following me all of the way out.

WHY can't I be more like her?


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm learning all about some wonderful medications for people with Tourette's. Call me if you want any recommendations. :)
Love, Jacqui

Anonymous said...

Roxie said..

You made me laugh and then I read Jacqui's comment and laughed harder! Good one!

Chris said...

I wish you would have left a tape recorder with them....

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