Friday, April 29, 2016

Canning Shelves

There's not a lot of storage in my new place -- so ya gotta get creative -- I asked Zach to build me some shelves for excess kitchen stuff under the steps and they turned out really cool. 

This photo's credit to our wedding photographer: Nicole Feest at Nylon Saddle Photography

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

The House

I'm going to catch up and post lots of "remodel updates" (we're currently at the sheetrock stage of the saga) but here are a couple shots of my finished house:

Tuesday, April 26, 2016


I think we left off with insulation when I last posted about the progress of the house remodel. Keep in mind these pics are all several months old now -- but I still think it's fun to see the progress.

I hired my chiropractor's brother to do the sheet rock -- his crew did such a nice job with the hanging, mudding and taping. I was so impressed -- out of all the subcontractors I hired up until that point, they were the only ones who showed up on time, finished on time, stayed on budget, and cleaned up after themselves.

And of all the work that was done, in my opinion it's the sheet rock that is most satisfying, because that's the point at which your construction zone starts looking like a real house.

Monday, April 25, 2016

Hal-isms, Vol. 63

"Meth and Zika: It's a volatile cocktail. You cannot to both."

"You know what I don't do? I don't take my dogs to Zikaville in Mexico and they come back with small heads."

"People always say 'oh, he crapped his pants.' But really, he just failed to sit down in time. That's the problem."

"I learn by experience Kady. Because I'm old now and I can't see. I can't hear, I can't smell and I can't feel. So I experience things and then I put them in my repertoire."

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Sunday Favorites: My 15 Hours in Kenya

New to A Lady Reveals Nothing? You've missed SO MUCH. Not to worry. Every Sunday, I dig through the archives to re-post an old favorite. Mostly because I'm too lazy to come up with new content every single day. Enjoy! This story originally appeared on December 30, 2014:

On the way from Seychelles to Mozambique, I had an overnight layover in Nairobi, Kenya. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to leave the airport because of visa requirements. Sarah's friend from Nairobi was traveling and so she couldn't host me, and so I sent out a couchsurfing request just in case. The woman who responded told me that I could just pay $25 for a "transit visa" and leave the airport no problem.

However, she couldn't host me either because although she lived close to the airport, traffic is so bad that it would have taken me two hours to get to her place and two hours to get back to the airport and there goes my good nights' sleep. 

SO -- I had no plan except plan B: Sleep in the airport. I have done this. It is no fun. 

On the little bus that takes you from the airplane to the airport I met Jackie, the nicest person in the whole world. She told me that I absolutely had to get to the game park and then physically walked me through customs, (VIP line - she's a diplomat), and then waited for me to go to the bathroom which included brushing my teeth and washing my face, brought me out of the airport, arranged for a taxi service to take me to the game park, then to a famous restaurant called "Carnivore" (think Fogo de Chao) and then back to a hotel near the airport and THEN in the morning from the hotel to the airport. I keep forgetting to email her a thank you note. This reminds me I GOTTA DO THAT.

Everything went pretty swell, except traffic IS really bad and so we got to the game park 10 minutes too late and they wouldn't let me in, no matter how hard I told them that I was from Minnesota and we don't have elephants there and I only had one night and all I got was a mean mean lady saying "it is impossible."

So my poor driver just took me to an animal orphanage instead, and that was really really fun because there were lots of cute kids there and we played and played.

And my driver taught me how to speak Swahili...the important parts anyways:

Jambo - hello
Mishkuru kutana nawewe - nice to meet you
Asante - thank you
Tuko salama - we are ok
Kwaheri - goodbye
Tafhadali - excuse me
Sina pesa - I don't have any money

I am in this picture -- can you find me?

Check this out. The older boy was running back and forth and the lions were copying him! I about died at how cute and awesome it was and then his little brother and I got involved and the driver took a video. Pretty cool.


Saturday, April 23, 2016

Friday, April 22, 2016


Prince died yesterday. I got a call from a co-worker who told me the news. So, I yelled out, "PRINCE DIED!" to my office (similar to how on February 8, 2007 I yelled out "ANNA NICOLE SMITH IS DEAD!" to my office (they rely on me for celebrity news).

Anyway everybody in Minnesota is grieving in one way or another. We've lit up our Capitol building and many bridges with purple lights. A free block party and a free dance party at First Avenue was organized. About a bajillion people showed up and danced all night. They were still lining up to get in at 3:30am.

A facebook friend of mine posted that she called her dad after hearing the news and this was their conversation:

"I know. I just heard."
"Heard what?"
"Prince is dead."
"Oh no - it IS real."
Moment of silence...

How sweet. They shared something together. A love of Prince and his music.

Curious, I called my own dad. This was our conversation:

"Dad! Prince is dead!"

I guess we share something else.

Thursday, April 21, 2016


My niece Hanna got married in January, but her roommate apartment broke up around November 1st. So I told her she could move in with me for the interim three months.

Hanna is cute and hilarious and we joke around a lot but living together was sort of terrifying. I told her to bring three pairs of underwear and one bra and a toothbrush and one change of clothes because my house is too tiny for a bunch of crap, but she didn't listen.

Move in day!

And then I told her she didn't have to pay rent or buy groceries and I would drive her to work every single morning so she wouldn't have to spend an hour on the bus as long as she cleaned my house top to bottom with a toothbrush once a week. A small price to pay in my estimation. I told her that it wasn't going to seem fair but I was going to be insanely irritated if she left one spoon in the sink, meanwhile I would probably have seventeen wine glasses in, on, under and around the bed. And it would be her job to pick them up and wash them.

But she didn't listen.

Her side of the bed

And one time I came home to find this business. I about freaked out! But instead I shamed her on Instagram in front of all of her friends:

We had a blast though. We hung out in bed and watched one million episodes of Gossip Girl and shared this giant Rice Krispie Bar and had a million hilarious conversations about her crazy dreams.

...and sometimes she did a chore or two.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

The Worst Kind of Turd is an Honest One, Vol. 5

I got this text from my little turd nice Hanna the other day...

See? Turd.

She makes a good point. In all cases. I did get married. I haven't written a post here in forever. I don't know what to write now that I can't use my "I'm going to die alone and be eaten by my cats" shtick. 

And, my husband "builds me adorable custom shelving":

Adorable Custom Shelving

I guess I'll have to write about funny things that happen to married people. Like, seriously, this guy has NO Netflix etiquette. He watches OUR show by himSELF just because I fall asleep everytime the TV is on.

It's not that funny. I know.

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