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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Ready for Another Old Poop Story?

I really can't believe I haven't blogged this one yet.  It comes from 1989 (give or take). 

My friend Maija and I were babysitting at a friend's house and we were playing pool after the kids went to bed. I was twelve.  Maija was always a lot cooler than me, in many ways, but this story has to do with her ability to fart on command.  So she farted, on command, and I was pretty jealous.  I decided it couldn't be that hard to do, and started trying to push a fart out.  Pushing and pushing and...suddenly I had to RUN to the bathroom.

Up the stairs I ran.  Into the bathroom.  Whipped down my shorts.  Sat down.  I thought for sure I had crapped my pants.  I looked in my underwear.  Nothing.  I looked in my shorts.  Nothing.  I looked everywhere.  Nothing.  Hmmm.  Curious.

But then I saw, on the OUTSIDE of my shorts, a tiny turd.

It's like my fart blew so fast through my underwear and shorts that it didn't have time to solidify until it made it safely outside.  I don't know?  You tell me.

3 comments:

  1. Those little sneaky ones are quick and sticky. Who knows how they operate.

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  2. Mitch is reading this post right now and almost peeing his pants he's laughing so hard. He says that's a "classic jailbreak"

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  3. I was in your pants until you ran UPSTAIRS at an impressive rate. I was hanging on by a hair when you flipped your shorts so fast it sprung me up up up and then I got a grip on your shorts. Phew n pee u. I stunk bad azz, I remember.

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