Wednesday, September 25, 2013

A Glimpse Into the Mind of a Lonely Old Lady

Some people might watch this video clip and go "awwwwwww that's a cute dad and his little girl." I watched it and I started bawling because in my mind this is exactly what my imagined husband (I'm really into redheads) and my little girl (I'm really into owl pajamas and tiny pink ukuleles) would get up to after some fireworks happened in the neighborhood. It's something to do with 36-year-old ovaries and hormones and it's really strong and there's nothing you nor I nor my therapist (if I had one) can do about it. I don't even really truly want a little girl but if I did she would definitely be wearing little skinny jeans and a girly white tank top with a tiny pink flower decal at the neckline and her name would definitely be June but we would call her Junie. She's convinced I can really remove my own thumb and put it back on (but it's just a slight of hand trick). Also when she loses her first tooth we would secretly put it in her dad's coffee hidden inside a spoonful of sugar and then everybody would laugh and laugh. Her sister would surely be named Louise, Lou for short and I would definitely be pregnant with their brother Hal. The kind of skinny pregnant where my nose never gets too wide and people say "you're ALL baby" and they really mean it. Childbirth is "amazing" but I would never say that out loud because I would't want any of the other pregnant ladies to feel bad and I for sure would never lose my patience and certainly not my temper like I do with my nieces and nephews. I digress. Watch the video. You'll die.








6 comments:

Jacqui said...

Just keep in mind that for every cute moment they have, there are other not so cute moments--the pitching of fits at the grocery store, the vomiting in the middle of the night all over your down comforter, the breakage of your favorite vase, the interference with your ability to take a nap whenever you want or jet off to some exotic location at a moments notice. I love my kids but they are total game changers.

A Lady Reveals Nothing said...

Jacqui, please explain that to my empty womb.

My brain totally agrees with you.

Jacqui said...

Can I just fill it up with pasta and vodka sauce and beer instead of finding a donor to fill it with a baby?

Chris said...

I couldn't stop smiling....

Kelly said...

Kady I have already got dibs on Hal for my first born son or daughter and you know it so back off.

Mom said...

Kady, today I called on such a cute red-headed guy (your age, too) and I swear I came away thinking of you and kind of sobbing inside for you. Really.

Then I came home and saw this and just cried with the awwwwwww, how cute feeling. And then I read your blog and am now sobbing for reals.....WAIT....SSHHHH....WHAT'S THAT NOISE?....(wait for it....wait for it)...

kady, you belo-ong, to me!!!

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