Thursday, September 18, 2014

Shash-age Links

I didn't even read this one, but there are SOUTH KOREAN BABIES IN CERAMIC POTS in the photo. Something about "under 5 mortality". BLAH BLAH BLAH Probably very interesting. The photo!


Best Countries for solo travelers. I've been to all but the Netherlands and Switzerland. Colombia isn't on there, but I'm going anyway. Sola en diciembre.

Disgusting! This is why we should all go back to having pagers. Don't let your abusive ex get at your phone, y'all!

Probably not really all that real and maybe sensationalist, but why are you microwaving things anyway? Do you really not have an extra ten minutes and a sauce pot?

This is hard for me because I'm sure I would have also really been "in heaven being a mom" and that I would also never have "been happier" and "just in awe of this beautiful person" we created and that it also would have been a "special time" for me and that my life would have "completely changed" once I "became pregnant", but you know, congrats, Ryan and Eva. I give up. You win. I'll find somebody else to have a celebrity crush on. I'm looking at you, Damon Albarn or, guy from Homeland.


This one's for you Roxie...our favorite show and your favorite pearl white slimline telephone with last number redial:

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Hal-isms, Vol. 54

"I'm a better person than I thought I were."

"I do that and I think it's funny but I don't like it when it happens to me."

"Was that a wolf hair that floated in on an that alfalfa sprout?"

"I'm an easy-going milktoast. I don't demand of anyone anything."

"It was really kind of inspirational."




Monday, September 15, 2014

Kady

Kady.

That's how I spell my first name. It wasn't my idea obviously -- my mom came up with it. She and my dad wanted to name me K.D., but when they wrote it down they didn't like how it looked, thank goodness and then they added the A and the Y and that's how it all worked out. As far as I know, I was like the only Kady in the whole universe until Facebook was invented and now there's like a million. Dang facebook. 

ANYWAY, I don't freak out too much about correcting people when they go to spell my name with a T, unless it's important -- like medical stuff or for tax purposes or whatever. 

So the point of my story is that when you say the name Kady out loud, it sounds exactly the same as Katie, in America anyway (British or Irish people will emphasize the 'T' or Spanish speaking people say it differently tambien). Since it's my name, I can hear the difference, but it's SO SUBTLE. When I say my name, since I know how it is spelled, I can tell that it's just a teensy bit different then when I would say the name of a friend named Katie. And I can tell when the person saying my name knows how I spell it. It's my sixth sense.

Isn't this INTERESTING???

Get to the point.

OK so my point is that this morning I stopped into Caribou Coffee (the Midwest's answer to Starbucks) and ordered a dark roast. They always ask your name so they can write it on the side of the cup. I said "Kady" when prompted and the be-acned-teenager behind the counter said, "Is that with a 'D'?"

I swear in 37 years nobody has ever picked up on the subtle pronunciation difference or asked me if my name were spelled with a 'D'. Ever. I was like, "YAH. HOW? HOW DID YOU KNOW?" He said he could hear it in the way that I said it. 





Sunday, September 14, 2014

Sunday Favorites: "You Can Stop it Now Beth, Nobody's Looking at You."

New to A Lady Reveals Nothing? You've missed SO MUCH. Not to worry. Every Sunday, I dig through the archives to repost an old favorite. Mostly because I'm too lazy to come up with new content every single day. Enjoy! This story originally appeared on August 21, 2012:




In high school, my best friend Beth Lindahl used to make me die laughing by making faces at me and never cracking a smile until I peed my pants. One day in Health class, she must have been trying to get my attention but I must not have been looking at her because Miss Stadum yelled out to her (over the silent din of a class full of kids who were reading or something):

"YOU CAN STOP IT NOW BETH. NOBODY'S LOOKING AT YOU."

_____


I was reminded of that story this evening...

I went with some friends to go and see the Walker Art Center's last installation of Music and Movies in the Park. Barrio restaurant in downtown Minneapolis sets up their food truck at these events, and it was there that I had my Second and Third Dinners this evening.

As I approached for Third Dinner, I noticed that the food truck employee was wearing a "Nacho Libre"-type mask and was yelling "HOLA!" at the customers in a "BOO! (scared you)"-type fashion, and I was really not into it.

So I stood there looking at the menu, while this guy waited for me to notice him and his dumb mask. I wasn't impressed, but I could tell out of the corner of my eye that he really wanted me to notice him. I couldn't be bothered and so without taking my eyes off the menu I said, 

"I SEE YOUR DUMB MASK. OK?"



...and then I took this photo without his permission.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Shash-age Links

Haha. So. True. "Imagine lying on your back and watching fireworks by yourself. Or catching a firefly with no one to show it to. Wouldn't you much rather just cease to exist in one quick, brutal instant?"

8 reasons why cheese is better than a boyfriend, though either is better than living in a storm drain.  "But man, goat cheese!" 

What it's like going to my parents' place.


I really can't stand these Buzzfeed-esque sites with ridiculously boring and poorly written captions, but I'll admit these photos of a dad and his daughter are pretty imaginative. Best to go straight to his site, honestly. Here's another cute one.


Fascinating article about a guy who lived in the woods for twenty-seven years without ever talking to another single soul, or even lighting a fire in twenty-below-zero temperatures. He stole food and clothing to survive.

Congrats to my very good friends!







Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Made in China

Like most twenty-something NPR-listening Americans, a friend of mine had grown concerned about the sheer volume of products we consume here that are made in China. Maybe it was for their poor quality craftsmanship, or maybe she had read somewhere that there was a good chance they had been made by small children in a factory whose Manager bribed the government somehow into looking the other way. Anyway, she made an attempt in her family to avoid products made in China for one year, to see how difficult it would be.

She and her husband probably discussed this within earshot of their oldest son, but didn't pay much attention because he was so young and they assumed he wasn't listening.

One night they were enjoying a drink in the living room when they heard a blood-curdling scream coming from his room.

My friend went running and found her son in his top bunk but all the way in the corner, like he was trying to get away from something that was coming at him. She thought maybe a spider or some bug had crawled into his bed.

"What's wrong?" she asked him.

He only pointed. To the tag on his bedspread:






Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Hal-isms, Vol. 53

"You can't date a Latino man. Your Dad never did. And he got along just fine. Now don't you either."

"Kady...it was demonstrable."

"Should we shine deer? You ever shine a deer?"

"I truly love you. If I ever say anything it's just a suggestion to get done right away."

"What do I do? Be nice to people? Blow kisses?"




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