Monday, April 14, 2014

Summer-isms, Vol. 64

"I'm working on it cuz I cut out grains."

"All I can do is cry."

"I asked Modest Mouse for a baked potato bar."

"You're ashamed? You know what you're wearing, yeah?"

"They're prostitute-beggar-priests."



Thursday, April 10, 2014

Happy National Sibling Day

Apparently, it's National Sibling Day*. Across America. I know this because I subscribe to something called the Internet.




Left to Right: Kasey, Kady, Pete, Kelly, Keri and Kim

So. I'd like to celebrate my siblings. In one sentence or more:

KIM:

Kim is the oldest. Mom to Hanna and Skeeter. Has the wonderful pond. She knew the private and basic love of being an only child, if but for one short year and resents all of us for the loss of that pretty much every day. She was really into picking my boogers and I had to let her because she was the boss of me and so I spent many an awful minute bent backwards over her lap while she sat on the toilet and picked and picked and picked them.

SCOTTY:

He was just a little baby when he died of complications from Spinal Myelo Meningocele. There were only a few pictures of him and my mom is pretty sure one of the kids took them to school one day and lost them and so now we don't have any. They say he had red hair. I never know if I should say I have seven kids in my family or six. What a cute name though, huh?

KERI:

Keri is married to Marc and lives in Hutchinson. They have 178 dogs and love every of them one like it was their own. I love Keri because she used to be SO UPTIGHT and now she is as loose as a goose. (This was a girl who used to line my toilet with toilet paper right in front of me...and now...she at least waits until I've turned my back.) They once found a worm in her underwear after she had been playing in the pigpen. My mom freaked out, thinking she had some terrible pig disease, but they finally realized it probably just crawled in there.

KELLY:

She is married to Mike and stepmom to Karley and David. Lived in Ohio for seven years but moved back to St. Paul finally and lives five minutes up the road. Mean as mean can be but gives the best advice. I call her whenever I have a problem or a question about life in general. She drove over a bicycle the day she got her driver's license and couldn't go to the movies with her friends like she hoped. 

PETE:

Pete is married to Tanya. Lives in Wisconsin. Most folks know him as Cowboy Pete. He's the only boy, and the only one without a 'K' name. (Rumor has it that my mom named him Pete after my great-grandpa Pete paid her $50 to do so). Most people feel sorry for him, being the only boy in a family of five girls. Let me tell you there is no reason to feel sorry for him. He got his own room. We had three bedrooms growing up and he got his own. Do the math on that one. Also: all new clothes. No hand-me-downs. However one day he did have to go to school with a mini pad taped to his face because we were out of band-aids one day.

KADY:

Definitely the favorite. Rightly so. Gorgeous.

KASEY:

Mom to Miles, Murphy and Miyo. We were basically attached at the hip our entire childhoods. Once we had a boy come over to the house and I knew Kasey was in love with him. We were all standing on the back porch talking to him. We were like seven and five. She was wearing my dad's yellow "Equal Opportunity Kitchen" robe and that's about it. I was standing behind her and I thought it would be hilarious to push her off the back porch while she was talking to him and so I did. She landed face down on the grass and just laid there. Arms out. The cute boy and I looked on. All you could see was the apron string and her undies. She was really mad at me and I couldn't really understand why? I mean, it was so funny to push her! I finally figured out it was the underwear. Sorry, Kasey.


*I did not confirm that it's actually National Sibling Day.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Favorite Things

Well I very optimistically bought two tickets to St. Vincent's concert months ago -- and I still don't have a boy date, SURPRISE SURPRISE. I'm taking Hobo Siren instead. If you get stuck in an Internet wormhole watching St. Vincent videos all afternoon as a result of this post, YOU'RE WELCOME.










Sunday, March 30, 2014

Broomball and Bonfires

I recently took Hanna AND HER BOYFRIEND up to meet Hanna's parents. They made a broom ball party out of the weekend on their fantastic pond. The night prior it snowed 10 inches and so in order to make it possible to play my brother-in-law John and my nephew Skeeter had to plow and shovel and it took them 12 HOURS. They said it was worth it. But look at all that snow.

The cool thing about playing broom ball at Kim and John's is that everybody plays together, kids and adults and everybody is on the same level playing field because the ice is so slippery that nobody can get going very fast and therefore everybody gets a chance at the ball. I couldn't play of course because I'm terrified of slipping and hurting my back and as Hanna said I'm totally an old grandma now. But I did go out there and take some photos. 

It was such a nice day for it too!


Go, Hanna, Go!



Really, I mean look at all that snow!!!!


Two goalies...and two girls from the opposing team just hanging out by the goal. Anything goes.


Indonesian on Ice


Gorgeous day



My favorite quote of the whole day was one that I overheard while hanging out by the entrance to the pond. There was a shortage of brooms and so some people had to wait to play until other people came off the ice. I heard a guy say, "oh man if I ever come into some money..." (and at that point I thought he was going to talk about the sweet snowmobile or motorcycle or hunting rifle or car he was going to buy, but nope) Instead he said, "...I'm gonna get me like 15 brooms!"



After dark we had a bonfire. I couldn't believe that a) Skeeter was able to get it started in the first place and b) how the snow around the pile never really melted and c) that fire burned and burned for hours. 



Friday, March 28, 2014

My Favorite Things, Vol. 2


I shared a complete list of my favorite things last November, but unfortunately I could only think of one thing (Old Dutch dill pickle chips). Well tonight I thought of another thing to add to my list of favorite things! And here it is!

Free tampons in public restrooms!



They just put them out! Anybody can have one!





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