Monday, December 25, 2017

Step Kid Pride

You know I'll be honest - when I married Zach and two teenage boys fell into my lap, I was terrified of the homework/attendance/schedule crap that comes along with kids. But through some stroke of luck Zach got them into a fabulous community school where there IS no homework, and the boys actually like going. I'm so thankful for PPL and LNAS.
Check out this video, in which Micah (misspelled in the video as "Micha") is interviewed at 3:01 and 4:27!
LNAS student film from Project for Pride in Living on Vimeo.

Saturday, December 23, 2017

Zach-isms, Vol. 5

Zach told me that I snore a lot. But only when I drink. (But I drink a lot. So anyway that was the conversation we were having and I was mortified.) And so he consoled me: "I don't mind your snores at all. They're like a bouquet of decibels."


Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Hal-isms, Vol. 72

"I don't shower at night. I wake up curly haired."
"I'm in a pissing match with a skunk."
"I ain't cookin' I'm just gonna eat hard tack and mushrooms."
"If you're in denial, it helps!"
"You tell them to get some Clamato juice or close their doors."

Sunday, December 17, 2017

The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

Occasionally, at my fancy lady business job, I am asked to speak to prospective recruits to convince them that our Company is the best, and the way we do things is the best, and they should really, really come and work here!
A few months ago, I had an appointment with one such man, and might I add he was very sharply dressed and even maybe a little bit on the handsome side. Of course I was embarrassed of my outfit, but that's not the point of my story. The point of my story is that during the appointment, he and I sat across from one another, with no desk in between us and we chatted and chatted and I crossed and uncrossed my legs eight hundred times and this went on for about 30 minutes. And then he left, and I considered the meeting a success.
Later, and I don't remember why (I probably dropped an M&M) I saw/felt in my crotchal area and was horrified to discover a two-inch GIANT hole at my upper upper thigh.
Later still, I was running late for softball, and so I quick quick quick changed from the above outfit into my softball outfit really fast, and that included an underwear change. I threw the above outfit plus underwear into my gym bag which is just an old tote bag and RAN into my boss' office for a quick commiseration about the hole in the crotch story and then off to softball.
While I was in there, the cleaning gal for our office approached me with her gloved hand outstretched. "I think these are yours", she said and instinctively I put out my hand, into which she dropped my DIRTY UNDERWEAR which must have fallen out of the tote in my haste. In the middle of the office hallway.
**What a nice human. I was glad for two things: 1) she was a woman and 2) she had gloves on.
And then at softball later my windshield got smashed by a softball. The End.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...