Sunday, November 30, 2008

Family weekend.

Went up to my sister Kim's this weekend...didn't do much...except:

PLAY PRAIRIE GIRL DRESSUP: (this one's for you Cory; I know how much you love Half-Pint)


KNIT (oh boy did we knit):


Just kidding we had a blast. And the food...YUM. We had french dip sandwiches, chili, spaghetti, spare ribs and potatoes...scramby eggs and bacon...MMMMM.

Love time off!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Our "10 minute movie"

Closet Thespians First Production from kodachrome on Vimeo.

Movie Making Rules

To see the post about making a movie, click here

Here is the rule sheet we received when we were given the movie-making assignment:


Dear friends,

Your mission, should you choose to accept it (NOTE: you have to accept it) is to plan, act, and film a short video with your teammates given only the next 2.5 hours.



In order to complete your assignment, your team will receive the following:

- your adoring team of 7-8 peeps
- one video camera
- one Random Prop. You MUST use the prop in the video.
- $20, to be spent on props at any of the local stores (Ax-Man, Wal-Mart, Dollar-Store)
- a change of clothes (you did bring one, right?)
- a mix CD of thematic music

We grant you complete and total artistic freedom (within the confines of the following draconian rules):

1.) You may not spend more than $20 on props — keep your receipts!
2.) The Random Prop must appear at least once in the video
3.) Every team member has to appear in front of the camera at least once
4.) At least 3 people have to do a dressing change at some point in the video (kudos to those of you who all do a dressing change! Come on, gasoline station bathrooms are not that gross....)
5.) Video must be a minimum of 10 minutes long
6.) You must deliver your video within the next 2.5 hours to complete this assignment (yes, we have stop watches...and yes there will be penalties for not finishing on time)
7.) &&&&&& you must incorporate the following “Quote o’ Fun” into your production:

“When you told me a catfish has more than 27,000 taste buds -- was that a lie too??”

YOU WILL BE JUDGED on the following criteria (no pressure!):

Creativity * Following Directions * Timing * Participation * Best use of provided quote * Best use of clothing * Best use of prop * Repetition for Emphasis * Appropriate … Pausing * Repetition for Emphasis

ICING ON THE CAKE There may or may not be a prettttteeeeey sweeet prize for the winner.*

*Prize will not contain icing or cake.

Ashlandic Productions, Inc.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Mysterious Invitation

So I received a mysterious invitation a couple of weeks ago. It was from a couple of my girlfriends and it basically said, show up at 2:30 on November 21st. Bring an appetizer and a "creative change of clothing".

I wasn't sure what that meant, and so I tried to get a hint of some sort but they wouldn't budge. It's "open to interpretation" they said. So I didn't really get anything together and then November 21st arrived and I sort of decided last minute just to raid my closet to see what I had. This is what I came up with:

So I arrive, in my regular clothes to find a house FULL of people, including boys. I was pretty embarrassed because I'm not sure why but I thought it was just a girls only party. Sometimes I forget that my friends are married and that they invite boys to their parties...anyways, I was sort of nervous. Why did I bring tights and a bikini bottom? I thought it would be SO funny to dress like a gross 1980's work-out person, but then boys being there made me want to die. Would we have to go out to dinner in our outfits? Would we have to throw it all in a bucket and play a game to win pieces of clothing? I was dying to know.

We were instructed to draw a number from a hat and then were divided into two teams. Team one and team two. I was on team one. We were told to choose a team name. We chose Closet Thespians. Team two became Mermaid Supper Club. And then the following announcement was read:

"Imagination is more important than knowledge" - Albert Einstein (scientist)

Welcome! We are so glad you've accepted our mysterious invitation. As you see, you are among friends. So there really are no justifiable excuses for not totally giving into the following assignment. Seriously, your friends will think you're lame if you don't act ridiculous and just. give. in.  Like Einstein, we are very PRO-imagination, but to push your boundaries even further we've decided to give you some interesting parameters ("knowledge") to work within.

The parameters were these:

You have two and a half hours.
You must make a short film, and it must be at least ten minutes in length.
You must use the given props (mean man mustache and bling teeth).
You must use the line, "When you told me that catfish had 27,000 tastebuds, was that a lie too?"
Filming ends precisely at 6pm and you must finish completely.
All members of your team must appear in the video, and at least three people must change their wardrobe.
You have a $20 budget for props.

I got a very nervous feeling in my gut. I hate this kind of pressure. We immediately got together though and tried to come up with a concept. Since both me and another friend had exercising outfits we decided to do a story on two runners, formerly friends and now rivals. We kind of decided early on not to waste time shopping for props and just to use the time we had to do the concept, rough character sketches and film.
We also had scrubs, a 1970's pimp style outfit, a vintage coat with coyboy hat, and a monster mask with sleeping bag cloak. We wanted a fight scene, we wanted a hospital scene, and we needed to somehow incorporate the props and random line about catfish tastebuds. Here are some pictures of us working...

I will post our movie as soon as I get it emailed to me. And by the way, it was the most fun ever. We had so much fun filming and the night ended by everybody watching and judging the finished product. And we won! More pics...

Anna's Sunday Chicken

The best chicken dinner EVER:

Chop up and brown 1 package of bacon.
Drain grease.
Add one large OR two small chopped leeks.
Add one pint heavy whipping cream.
Saute for a minute or two.

Pour over eight boneless, skinless chicken breasts and cook for 40 minutes at 400 degrees (or until chicken is done).


My friend Ross is moving to Nicaragua for 4 months, so on Saturday night we got together to wish him well. Here he is, waving goodbye:

And we are sad:

Friday, November 21, 2008

Friday night...

Well what fun will tonight bring? Should be amazing, judging by last weeks' Friday night hijinks:

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Hospital Party

When Anna and I were new roomies, we went to a party with a Hospital Theme, because our pal Holland just finished her Nursing boards. I decided to go as a runner who had been hit by a car. Anna and I drove her new Volvo through mud puddles, scrubbed mud on her tires and then drove over one of my white running shirts, but it just didn't show up dark enough so I decided to go as a meth addict instead, because I had these awful high-wasted mom jeans and fake crocs. Anna of course couldn't leave her heels behind and went as the sexy nurse. Good times.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


Miles insisted that he help my dad shoot a squirrel and then dad said we never shoot anything unless we eat it, so are you sure you want to eat a squirrel? And Miles said yes and then the squirrel got shot and skinned and then pretty soon it smelled so good.
Dad ate it. Miles did not.

(poor little squirrel)

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Important information

I had a massage party and we made chili and did a puzzle!

I have finished two scarves plus two little mini scarves.

Murphy's coming over tomorrow.

I stayed up too late last night.

I made lentil soup.

I watched Son of Rambow. LOVED IT. Put it in your queue.

I walked around Lake Nokomis.

I turned my heat up to 70 just for the massage party but it's back to 55 now.

Jiffy Corn bread is the best ever.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

More Jen vs. Angie

partially quoted from

Jennifer Aniston got a phone call from her ex-husband Brad Pitt, who was none too pleased about the interview in which Maniston calls Angelina "uncool" while she goes to great lengths to praise Pitt.

A source close to the Mr. & Mrs. Smith pair says that they were "totally thrown" by the piece because they thought Man "had already moved on."

An email to Aniston's rep got a very curt "That's personal information. That really is no one's business.”

I hope this never ends!

This morning...

...I was the idiot with the belt of my coat hanging out of the car door.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


Knitting at work? I'm addicted!

Actually, this was the most elaborate photo shoot joke ever. Check out on my computer, the feet up, the pretending to be on the phone, the "surprised" look on my face. I think the hilarity of it all was worth it...? Question mark?

I Sold My Piano!

And so I'm addicted to Craigslist. I posted the piano a couple of times but didn't have any takers. So I reposted it a couple of weeks ago and a really nice guy emailed and stopped by to check it out. He's a viola player in the Minnesota Orchestra. Alason insisted on being there when he came by to prevent my murder -- the mark of a true friend. Also, I informed all neighbors of his presence and had my pink mace ready. So he liked the piano and thought it would work but wanted to get a professional's opinion. So we spent a couple weeks trying to get somebody out who would confirm that it was a solid instrument. We agreed on a price and then finally, after some hassle, we got a dude and his cronie to come out. He was going to look it over, and if it checked out, move it and tune it all in one fell swoop. Here are some photos of the evening. The whole thing took about an hour, and so I shared a couple glasses of wine with the buyer and we became best friends while the dude was trying to tell him that I was charging too much. But then he asked how much I was charging so that was kind of funny. Also as you can see from the photos the dude was putting his greasy gross tools on my WHITE COUCH. What is wrong with people? Oh, and then he used a LEAF BLOWER to blow all the accumulated dust from inside the piano. Thankfully he waited until it was outside to do that! And then the next morning I went out there and I found CIGARETTE BUTTS on my sidewalk. SHEESH. But, I am so excited and happy that I have this lovely open space in my living room now! And a little moolah in the bank. It's all a part of my master plan to get rid of everything furniture-wise on my main floor and get all new stuff without paying any extra money. So far so good. I took these photos on my cell phone so they're kind of grainy, but you get the picture (pun intended!):

Here's what my entryway looks like, pianoless:

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Angelina vs. Jennifer

Jennifer Anniston finally speaks out. She says, "what Angelina did was very uncool."

Don't get me wrong, I'm on Team Angelina, but this made my day. fight! fight!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Knitting mania

Old/current obsessions:

Rotating my netflix stock quickly and efficiently by watching as many movies as possible

New obsessions:


So I decided to have a knitting party at my house on Friday night. It was pretty fun. And somehow Anna and I stayed up until 3am (Beata made it until 2am but had to work at 9am, poor thing). Of course we were talking and chatting, but we continued knitting the whole time. Craziness!

Friday, November 7, 2008

Back to massage stories

So I used to have a client who was around 400 pounds. She came in every week and her insurance was paying for her therapies so after all was said and done, I got approximately $7 per hour to massage her, and it waren't easy. But that's beside the point.

Well she was also the patient of the doctor and one day he had to say something to her and so he knocked on the door of my massage room.

I said, "come in" before I even thought about it and he opened the door. I was relieved because she could have been like exposed or something but thank goodness she was not.

So he said his piece and then left. But I didn't leave it alone. I said to the lady "WELL AT LEAST YOU DIDN'T HAVE YOUR BIG OL'..." and then I stopped talking. And we finished the rest of the hour in awkward silence.

Speaking of blackheads...

One time I pinched a HUGE black head in the ear of a Native American friend (not the chief, a different guy) and I marveled because the product looked just like a piece of wild rice.

Old Massage Stories

Thinking about that robe got me thinking about all kinds of awesome embarrassing massage stories.

For example, one of my obsessions in life is blackheads. I have often been accused of not paying attention to someone, because I am actually staring at their blackheads and dreaming of extracting them. I spend about 15 minutes in the mirror every morning and every night pinching everything on my face. I pinch the backs of my arms whenever I am sitting down, like at work or at meetings. So it was a natural career choice for me to go into massage.

I had lots of older clients who had awesome monster blackheads on their backs and using massage oil, I could usually ease the stuff out without anybody being the wiser. This is disgusting and embarrassing to admit, but I would sometimes put the awesome extractions on my little massage shelf so I could look at them later. ICK I am so gross!

Anyway, one day I had a client who just so happened to be the Chief of the Fort Frances tribe of Native Americans. He had a huge rock lump volcano crusty black head on his right shoulder. I massaged it, and massaged it. It was nowhere near a muscle. I must have worked on it for quite some time, because pretty soon the Chief goes, "What? Do I have a blackhead?"

I was mortified. No one had ever busted me before this! I recoiled in horror. And all I could muster in response was, "What's a blackhead?"

Thursday, November 6, 2008


This embarrassing story just popped into my head today:

When I was in high school I worked at the local chiropractor's office as a massage therapist. I had some really nice clients from Indiana who had a cabin in Canada. The woman had severe fibromyalgia and came to see me for two-hour sessions a couple of times per week. Her husband also came in for ear candling appointments. They were so cool, and I loved them. Great clients. Anyways, the woman asked me if I would please get a robe for the massage room, in case she ever needed to use the restroom and didn't want to completely get dressed. She could just throw the robe on and walk over to the restroom. So, I went to KMart and purchased something similar to this:

Why in the heck did I buy that thing? It goes over the head, is unflattering, and is not a robe at all. One would find it easier to get dressed in their clothes than to try to wrestle this ugly thing on. Every time I think of this story, I get incredibly embarrassed. And I think of it often.

If I only had a time machine...

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


I have decided this winter that I am going to do nothing but watch movies and knit scarves. Don't even try calling me. I'll be knitting. Knitting your names into a long scarf, so I can rat on you to the French Revolution.

South Africa wildlife

I'm so glad this happened after I got home. This thing was caught near Jo'burg. I think it's a vampire rat. Thanks for the nightmares, Beata!

ICK EW gross!
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