Friday, November 7, 2008

Old Massage Stories

Thinking about that robe got me thinking about all kinds of awesome embarrassing massage stories.

For example, one of my obsessions in life is blackheads. I have often been accused of not paying attention to someone, because I am actually staring at their blackheads and dreaming of extracting them. I spend about 15 minutes in the mirror every morning and every night pinching everything on my face. I pinch the backs of my arms whenever I am sitting down, like at work or at meetings. So it was a natural career choice for me to go into massage.

I had lots of older clients who had awesome monster blackheads on their backs and using massage oil, I could usually ease the stuff out without anybody being the wiser. This is disgusting and embarrassing to admit, but I would sometimes put the awesome extractions on my little massage shelf so I could look at them later. ICK I am so gross!

Anyway, one day I had a client who just so happened to be the Chief of the Fort Frances tribe of Native Americans. He had a huge rock lump volcano crusty black head on his right shoulder. I massaged it, and massaged it. It was nowhere near a muscle. I must have worked on it for quite some time, because pretty soon the Chief goes, "What? Do I have a blackhead?"

I was mortified. No one had ever busted me before this! I recoiled in horror. And all I could muster in response was, "What's a blackhead?"

9 comments:

kasey said...

I hate you.

anna said...

I do believe there are two kinds of people in the world. Ones who are obsessed with squeezing pimples and blackheads, and ones who gag on the pure thought.

Kelly said...

Whats a blackhead? I thought he said did you get it. Either way I love this one and I tell it often.

Hanna said...

You need to post the picture of the zit you saved in a little bag in your purse so everyone can see how gross you are that you saved it for years.

kadyhexum said...

Does it make you happy to think that everyone will think I am gross Hanna?

p.s. this zit thing is definitely inherited. You're next.

A redhead once. said...

is that what we are calling the original natives of this beautiful country these days?! Blackheads. a new low has occured on this blog story. Although how I can't seem to comprehend. wow! Your eyes can be opened everyday at some point in the morning. That much I know for sure. I puked up a blackhead once. it filled the toilet. Oh, that's going to far isn't it. Your welcome.

kasey said...

and your little dog too!

mom said...

Is that the same massage table that is now sitting in Keri's entry way. Keri, you may want to disinfect again now.

kadyhexum said...

the very same

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