2016 - The Year in Review

Remember 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, and 2014?

Somehow there IS NO "2015 - Year in Review" post. 2015 was a blur. I got botox for the first time, bought my house, renovated it, met a boyfriend, fell in love, GOT ENGAGED, and my mom got breast cancer and moved in with me for 6 months to get surgery then radiation and chemotherapy treatments...then Hanna moved in...like I said. Blur.

2016 was WEIRD. For one thing, I didn't leave the country. (For the first time since 1998). Do you count Montreal, Canada? I guess I did leave the country. It didn't feel like it counted because it was just for the day and I didn't get a stamp and I drove there by myself when I was visiting Zach in Vermont. 

Oh yeah, Zach. I forgot to die alone and instead I got married! 

Photo by nylonsaddle

During 2016, Zach and I went to 27 states together (and Puerto Rico).

I became a stepmom.


We joined a kickball team:

We weren't number 1.

My mom got lung cancer (again) and this time it had moved to her leg (surgery to remove) and her brain (radiation to zap). I was all ready for her and my dad and Rowdy to move in with me and Zach and the kids into this 900 square foot house, but as it turned out she was only in the city for a month. While they were here they celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary.

2016. 

A great year. 

A tough year. 

The last year of me NOT being 40. 

Hawaii

Hawaii

Have You Missed Me?

I'm a pretty darn regular blogger, or I liked to think that I was or used to be.

Here are my excuses for the last several months:

• My mom had cancer.
• I was remodeling a house.
• Work was insane.
• My mom had cancer.

Also, for the last two months I didn't have internet at home (also I didn't have a home, period), so I didn't really write anything.

Lots to catch up on!

My mom is better!

My house is done!

I'm living here!

I'm cooking here!

I hung some pictures!

My pants are too tight!

photo cred to Abby G

2014: The Year In Review

It's that time again, Folks! You know. Where I brag about stuff I did all year!

Remember 2010, 2011, 2012 and 2013?



2014 began with a trip to Japan and Hawaii.

Tokyo

Big Island

And then Miyo ran away. Boy we sure do miss her.

Somebody somewhere made a huge mistake:

I sold my house.

And then my appendix jumped ship:

Nowheresville, Wisconsin

Brad and Angie got married.

Correns, France

I got SUPER into canning.

I finally got that broken blood vessel removed from my face.

I made a bunch of videos for my profile on a popular dating site, but nobody took the bait.

My mom got breast cancer.

My fanny pack fashion trend finally caught on with the celebrities. (I TOLD you it would.)

I refilled my prescription for my "Herpes on the nose" medicine.

I went to Africa.

Still no baby and still no boyfriend. I'm taking even fewer showers so I'm not sure if that status will ever change...OH! I bought a house! But I already did that twice this year and never actually closed and so we'll see if this one sticks. More to follow.

2015. The year of turning 38 and going to my 20-year high school reunion. And (of course) (obviously) getting a baby and a boyfriend. Fingers crossed!!!

Hasn't Anybody Even Noticed?

I mean, have we even met? Do you really even know me?

You haven't noticed I thrive am desperate for accolades and validation? At all times? Haven't I explained that I'm a middle child from a big, poor family?

DUH!

YOU GUYS:

I CHANGED MY HEADER AND I DID IT ALL BY MYSELF* AFTER THREE YEARS OF THE SAME BORING HEADER AND NOBODY EVEN NOTICED.

*and I'm not even very good at "the computer".

See? I had to add words and make the "'s a gir" black with the other words white. And I had to slant some of the words up my arm...and please ignore the fact that my nose looks broken in this photo. It was hard, OK?



COME ON.

A Letter to Pete, Part Three

I used to write letters and sometimes even poems to my brother Pete when he first moved out of the house. He saved some and showed me this one last weekend. It seems I've always been destined for Mensa. Pay attention to my brilliant use of the word "worser" and the misspelling of the word "school". Also, I can see now that my whole life I've always written written written even when I don't have anything to say and even though nobody is writing back. I guess it makes sense I ended up writing a blog.

DO YOU LIKE THIS PAPER? ITS FREE FROM BOISE. DAD GETS IT LIKE TWO REAMS PER DAY. BLAH BLAH BLAH. IM RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO SAY. WILL YOU PLEASE WRITE ME BACK? IVE WRITTEN YOU THREE TIMES NOW AND I HAVENT HEARD FROM YOU. I NEVER GET ANY MAIL. I WRITE TO MAIJA, TAWNY, YOU MAYBE TWO TIMESA MONTH AND NOBODY WRITES ME BACK. BOO HOO. SO WRITE BACK OK? OH GUESS WHAT? I GOT A 4.0 ON MY GRADE POINT AVERAGE. THATS SIX A'S AND AN A+. WHAT A NERD HUH? I CANT BELIEVE IT CUZ I WAS TRYING TO GET WORSER GRADES THAN I DID BEFORE (3.85) AND EVERY TIME I TRY TO GET BAD GRADES I GET BETTER THAN BEFORE. I DID THAT LAST YEAR. THE LAST QUARTER I DID THE WORST IN SCHOLL AND I GOT THE BEST GRADES. I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON. PETER THATS A 4.0!!! YOUR SISTER IS A NERD.

2013: The Year in Review

It's that time again, Folks! You know. Where I brag about stuff I did all year. (Remember 2010, 2011, and 2012?)

January 1, 2013

Well this year started off pretty weird. I mean, Summer and I woke up in Agra, India on January 1st after visiting the Taj Majal for crying out loud, but then that very same day I ended up sending a little kid to jail.

The next day we went to Veranasi and took a lovely boat ride along the Ganges and saw the funeral pyres you've heard so much about...

...and then we walked to Nepal...

...then Summer flew to Paris and I flew to Japan where I saw some real live Geishas...

...and went snowboarding at Nagano...

...and then I came home again and spent some quality time with my parents...

...went to Puerto Rico where I faced a great big giant fear and got certified in SCUBA...

...and for the first time in over three years, I wasn't homeless anymore.

I moved into an apartment directly across from one of my best buds Laurissa. And then Minneapolis had a freak snow storm on April 19th, and she and I jumped on the city-wide bandwagon and made barefooted snow angels. Hers only had one arm, because martini.

...I learned how to curl...

...which in turn gave me the sweetest profile picture ever, I must say...

...after that a Pizza Man totaled my car and ruined my back for life.

...on the upside I became the proud if only temporary owner of this lovely old 1987 Dodge Dakota pickup truck which I lovingly called Ol' Blue:

...and then Ol' Blue bit the dust and I bit the bullet...

Fancy Lady

Some other events of 2013:

...my dad and I went Lady's Slipper hunting again...
...Summer and I roadtripped down to Kansas City...
...Hanna inadvertently made me a tampon holder...
...I faced a great big giant fear and crossed a great big giant thing off my to-do list and now I'm hiding it here in this list so as not to draw too much attention...
...the girls and I went on our Annual Girls' Weekend...
...went to my first Habesha wedding (oops I forgot to wear white):




So, what was your favorite post of 2013?

Mine? I can't pick just one! Here are my three favorite posts of 2013:

1. Chanel Ad? Or...
2. The most hilarious thing that pretty much ever happened to me.
3. Kim Jong Hal

Sorry, For Real

The five of you may have noticed that I'm not posting as often as I used to.

There's a very good reason for that. I ran out of money and got a job. A real one. And all my brain seems to be capable of handling in the evening hours is back-to-back episodes of television. So, you know, sorry about that. It's really hard to come up with something interesting to say day after day when the only interesting thing that happened that day was that I forgot my lunch and had to go down to the cafeteria and spend $8.00 on a very boring salad and then I ate it at my desk.

Just remember, I have posted 1,656 times on this very website and you can click around and read old archived posts. There's a menu of topics on the right hand side of the page:

Might I suggest:

Some of my very favorite stories are housed under life up North.

Hal - Read about my ridiculously funny dad, including the hysterical run-in with prostate cancer a few years back. Or read all the crazy stuff he says at Hal-isms.

Hilarious - Just my opinion...

Embarrassed - (This happens a lot).

Kady Stupid - Well, I mean. I am.

And of course there is fart, poop, pee, and tampons but -- you know. Proceed at your own risk.

OR: You could go all the way back to the very beginning and read every single one!

Life will get interesting again soon, I hope.

The Archives

The five of you may have noticed that I'm not posting as often as I used to.

There's a very good reason for that. I ran out of money and got a job. A real one. And all my brain seems to be capable of handling in the evening hours is back-to-back episodes of television. So, you know, sorry about that. It's really hard to come up with something interesting to say day after day when the only interesting thing that happened that day was that I forgot my lunch and had to go down to the cafeteria and spend $8.00 on a very boring salad and then I ate it at my desk.

Just remember, I have posted 1,656 times on this very website and you can click around and read old archived posts. There's a menu of topics on the right hand side of the page:

Might I suggest:

Some of my very favorite stories are housed under life up North.

Hal - Read about my ridiculously funny dad, including the hysterical run-in with prostate cancer a few years back. Or read all the crazy stuff he says at Hal-isms.

Hilarious - Just my opinion...

Embarrassed - (This happens a lot).

Kady Stupid - Well, I mean. I am.

And of course there is fart, poop, pee, and tampons but -- you know. Proceed at your own risk.

OR: You could go all the way back to the very beginning and read every single one!

Life will get interesting again soon, I hope.

My Favorite Spam Comment. Ever.

I get so many of these spam comments to my blog. So, so many. And they're so, so good.
I need to write a book. (Using the copy and paste function.)

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Do we really need spam to sell this magic pill?

Give the Gift of Silly Pants!

When I wrote about silly pants in India I got a comment from a favorite reader and loyal friend whom I love to death. She said she thought they were really cute, so Summer and I bought her a pair for a little souvenir from our trip. You may recognize them from the post I did about the Creepy Starers on the train, pictured below on the left. Turns out they're not only a dual purpose skirt/pants, they also make great Creepy Starer protection!

 

 

Well, she loved them! And we loved her Thank You email. I got her permission to copy it in its entirety for your reading pleasure:

 

Hi Kady & Summer...

I received my silly pants today!! Thank you so much!! I was so hoping you guys would send me a pair. I went out to get the mail and when I saw the package was from you two, I said, "oh, pleaaasssseee let it be silly pants"..I really did. I was so excited and I tore open the package and then I said, "yeah, silly pants". I was on my way to the Dr. and I didn't have time to try them on. But, tonight..I put them on and here's how it went.

I had on a turquoise sweater, so they didn't match color wise or material-wise. My sweater looked too warm with them. When I first put them on, I went to my full length mirror to look at the fit, and I swear, it looked like I had this huge penis hanging down. With a raised eyebrow and a "huh?" I tucked the fabric back and then I turned around and looked in the mirror at my rear. It looked like an elephant butt with huge testicles hanging at the back of my knees. I said, "oh, these are silly pants. They sure didn't fit Summer & Kady like this in their pictures." I thought, I really probably won't ever wear these.Then something magical happened. I removed my sweater and put on a soft sports bra that I sleep in as pajamas. I turned around and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I caught my own attention and I said, "WHAT?"...I actually looked pretty sexy and really hot. And when you look sexy, what do you do? You start dancing and posing. So, I was doing the, Look Like An Egyptian Dance...I started posing in all different figurations. And then I thought...I should put on some really high heals and pose in these Egyptian poses and take some photos and send to the girls. I want them to know how much fun I'm having in these silly pants and how much I appreciate them and how ridiculously sexy I look. Anyway, then I said, "yeah, but if I do, they probably will do some 'clogging' about it and post these photos on 'that way tube thing'. So, I decided to brush my teeth and while I was doing so, I continued to dance like an Egyptian and like Jeannie in I Dream Of Jeannie, all in front of the mirror. It was then I also remembered that the silly pants were from India and not Egypt. It was also at that time that I decided I WOULD wear these silly pants. Where, you ask? I'm not sure. But be assured, I will rock them!

Love you guys,

"R"*

The moral of the story? COMMENT ON MY BLOG. THERE MAY BE BLING IN IT FOR YOU.

*not her real name.

 

Ugh. Sorry.

Today I've had enough. I got 138 Anonymous spam comments to my blog. They show up to my computer in the form of emails and its getting very annoying. Though some are pretty funny (people pretend they really like your "content" or "very informative post" so I know its a bunch of bull right away), I can't take it anymore. I'm not ready to turn word verification on because I know it's annoying.

I still get excited that an email might be news from home (and it NEVER is, jerks). So I turned Anonymous commenting off for now, to see if it will help.

All you have to do when commenting is choose Open ID, and then type your name. Or Poop Butt. It doesn't matter, it's an "Open" ID.

I hope this solves the problem. If not, it's back to word verification.

Journals and an Apology

Did you ever keep a journal? I have my whole life. I have tons of partly-filled journals, never finished. This is because I write in sporadic spurts and inevitably there are huge gaping holes where months of my life slid by, undocumented. And when that happens it's hard to start up again. Thus the unfinished journal. It's easier just to start a new one.

That's where I'm at with this trip. I'm sorry. I know that there are some crazy folks who start their day by opening this website. I appreciate that, really, and want to reciprocate with a daily post. Believe me I am trying to accomplish that in a world where Internet is like toilet paper. Sometimes they have it, and sometimes they don't. I also know that it's only been five days since I posted. Not bad. But the truth is, thats not true. It has been three weeks. You see, one night in Ljubljana, I found a lobby computer with a memory card reader, and stayed up all night creating three weeks' worth of posts, scheduling them to pop up every morning. That's why they were lame and short and cheat-y. And I haven't found another lobby computer since. 

Thusfar, I have been unable to properly document because of faulty technology and am at least a month behind. And now I don't know how to catch up. I last wrote about a place called Ljubljana, but since then it's been four weeks, a new travel companion and seven countries later. I think a bullet point list is appropriate, for what's happened recently, to catch you up:

• I laid on the beach in Croatia and swam in the Adriatic
• My mom has lung cancer
• My house will remain rented for an additional two years
• I kayaked on Kotor Bay in Montenegro
• My dad rolled his truck and totaled it
• I bartended in Sarajevo
• Ross went home
• Summer arrived
• I am in Sri Lanka, brutally murdering every mosquito I see, lest it infect me with the dreaded Dengue
• I'm going to the Maldives
• I will probably cut my trip short to go be with my lungless, uterless mom.

If you'd like some details on any of the above, patience please. You see every once in a while I get a little Internet but then the guesthouse employee will go to bed and shut off the modem while I'm on the phone with Minnesota (sorry Josette). I don't know how much more interneting I'll be able to do in the coming weeks. Keep checking back!  

Love to all, Kady in Sri Lanka

I Doubt It

Yah, so I turned off Word Verification for comments on my blog a while back, which is good for you, bad for my email. I get about 25 emails a day notifying me of spam commenters, most of which advertise for cheap purses. They are pretty funny, what with the google translate feature and the terrible English. The ones that feign interest in my content are the ones that really crack me up though. For example, I wrote about how I was having Ross flush the toilet for me every time I had to go in Cornwall, and this was a response I got:

Haha - seriously?? I doubt it. And this one, when I wrote about possible bed bug bites I got in South America:

Spam comments are the highest form of flattery, sort of.

From Our Readers

You Guys: The most wonderful thing happened.

I got a Fedex package.  From a reader.

And it was.

The most.

Amazing.

Present.

Ever:

He was afraid I already had it.

He forgot I don't have anything.



THANKS D. You sort of made my year.

A Gift for my Commenters

It's not that I fear spam commenters.

It's not that I want to annoy you out of commenting.

It's that I'm just not tech-savvy, folks. I'm a little bit of a computer dunderhead.

I wanted to shut word verification off. But I didn't know how -- until now -- and I want you to know how too. Here is the link to turn of word verification for Blogger. It's easy! Special thanks to Dana over at five30three.

I think you'll find it's easier to comment on my blog now, folks. No more squinting to try and discern what the heck you're supposed to decode, however funny they may be:

Ignore Hitler Some More

We've been doing some more ignoring of Hitler in my Draw Something games...and they're certainly not done as well as the master, but it's dern fun.  Want to try and guess what's being drawn? That could be fun. I numbered them and you can guess in the comments.

These drawings are sometimes mine, sometimes McShash, and sometimes Minty Wafflefarmer. (Not their real names.)

1

2

3

4

5

6

7. A Freebie.

8

9

10