Friday, January 31, 2014
Thursday, January 30, 2014
|Is there sun on my face? Because I don't want any sun on my face!!|
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
The point of this story (there's a point of this story?) is that I finally got it cauterized! Problems have solutions!! I paid a guy $100 to stick a burnt match in my face and then he put a Band-Aid on there. I mean, he was a Doctor. He wasn't just a guy.
Anyway you can hardly see it anymore!
Monday, January 27, 2014
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
- I had no idea how to get to Mark and Annie's.
- I did not know their phone numbers.
- My phone! I mean, who cares, you can replace them, but:
- I have some very choice recordings on my phone that I didn't back up. Irreplaceable and so precious to me.
- Panicked, I pulled the moped up onto the sidewalk.
- I turned it off but did not chain it to anything (theft here is a big deal).
- I ran down the street, hoping to find my phone before it got run over by a car.
- I was hyperventilating about the recordings.
- A policeman asked me to "get out of the street ma'am."
- I retraced the entire block-and-a-half. No phone.
- A man named Al asked me what was wrong. I was sobbing. "I lost my phone! I don't know where I live here!" He offered to call it in case somebody picked it up. I was so distraught I just nodded, knowing nobody had picked it up. I gave him my number and he called it.
- Nobody answered.
- Dejected, I walked back to Annie's moped, sure that that same mean cop who told me to get out of the street had given me a ticket for parking it on the sidewalk.
- As I approached, I wondered 'maybe it just fell down more into that compartment.
***P.s. Of course I called Al back and we talked for 20 minutes about how great it was that my phone wasn't lost after all. He told me that on his third day here he lost his wallet and so he related to the panic in my face and he wanted to help me so bad...Also a young couple happened to be standing by when I found the phone and I told them, "I have to tell you a story and you're not going to want to listen but I'm telling you anyway and you have to just listen because I'm like so stupid and relieved." They listened, like champs. They were also very happy for me! The end.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
|So nice to meet you!|
|Oh, yah. I forgot. Don't be scared!|
I gotta tell you though. Japan was the perfect place to get one! Half the population walks around in these funny surgical masks. I thought they were for like prevention of colds and then I heard that people who have a cold don't want to spread it because they're polite or maybe they have bad allergies and THEN I heard that some people just don't want other people looking at them. Who knows? Who cares? Look at what a PERFECT Herpes Simplex 1 cover-up they make!
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Monday, January 6, 2014
Friday, January 3, 2014
Thursday, January 2, 2014
I recently had my IQ measured.
And trust me, my family is Nonplussed. Incredulous. Unimpressed. I don't regret telling them, but try hanging out with the other seven Hexum family members after you find out that you're extra smart. Play the wrong card in Whist. Run over a curb with your car. Mispronounce something. You get the idea. My new nickname is "Mensa", as in "Hey Mensa! You forgot to flush!" (just kidding, I never forget to flush.)
|"It's like, well...I just know alotta stuff."|