My brother sent me this text tonight -- a photo of a poem I wrote to him when I was younger:
If you can't read it, here's a transcript:
ODE TO PETE
My love for you Pete
stretches from here to Crete
it will outlast time
and unlike a mime
it proclaims loud and clear
that I hold you so dear
your picture I hold close to my heart
even though in the past in my face you would fart
hold me down on the floor
from your butt the juice would pour
I could not withstand
the force of your hands
holding me down
in your stench I would drown
the air would turn grey
but...I love you anyway
How do we know Jeffrey Dahmer was a careless smoker?
He left BUTTS behind the couch.*
*#1: The Jeffrey Dahmer reference dates this poem to approximately 1992, or me at 15. #2: I'm so sorry. That joke is terribly insensitive and I would slap my 15-year-old self up if I had a time machine. Who am I kidding? If I had a time machine I would slap my 15-year-old self up for perming my short hair:
|My apologies to the victims' families.|
My brother also used to fart on me. And once he came home from rugby practice, took off his shirt, and surprised me by sticking his armpit in my face. I was very surprised and I bit his armpit. Almost 20 years later, he still tells people I licked his sweaty armpit when we were kids.
This, my dear, makes me wonder what Jeffrey's brother did to him....
Chris, now you are scaring me. Kady, I think you should sell your couch. People like you probably should not own couches.
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