Friday, November 7, 2008

Back to massage stories

So I used to have a client who was around 400 pounds. She came in every week and her insurance was paying for her therapies so after all was said and done, I got approximately $7 per hour to massage her, and it waren't easy. But that's beside the point.

Well she was also the patient of the doctor and one day he had to say something to her and so he knocked on the door of my massage room.

I said, "come in" before I even thought about it and he opened the door. I was relieved because she could have been like exposed or something but thank goodness she was not.

So he said his piece and then left. But I didn't leave it alone. I said to the lady "WELL AT LEAST YOU DIDN'T HAVE YOUR BIG OL'..." and then I stopped talking. And we finished the rest of the hour in awkward silence.

11 comments:

Hanna said...

There is no good way to redeem yourself from saying something like that.

massage man said...

a great recovery i've often used is "at least you didn't have your big ole' beautiful personality hanging out for all of us ugly skinny personalities to see. works everytime! I believe "works everytime" is the exclusive quote of colt 45. proppa props for the use of their quote. piece. out. bye.

kadyhexum said...

Dear "massage man", Your wisdom is limitless, your wit incredible, and your writing style very similar to the following posters:
"very ricey"
"a redhead once"
"lowjack"
"the big k"
"sinoptyres mustaffa jr"
I'm onto you...

Luke S. said...

You'll never figure out who it is! Who I is, or am. My mom's spaghetti tastes like paper confetti, I'm cool and ready cuz I'm a Jetti. The force is the course and the source of my.... to be cont.

lukeS. continues and said...

aunt betty. my comments r anything but petty. Tom that is.

The LAWyer said...

if said client was 400lbs. at $7/hr, that would equate to 6.67 lbs/min. That equates to roughly $.02/lb./min. What is beef worth these days? THAT SOUNDS A LITTLE LOW IF YOU ASK ME. Accidently hit the caps lock and didn't figure it out till the end of sentence. Oh WEll, IT HAPPENS. Can you get back wages if you sue? When did this occur?

400lbs. said...

I weigh 299.38 lbs you little massage person. I will sue you for lible, Spelling? I have contacted "The Lawyer" and he says if you don't sue me, I can Sue you. So there. Please do not sue me as a need to sue you. I'm large and will Charge. my middle name is Marge and i live on a barge. I think I used all the simple words that end in arge. kindly reply with a non suewage letter of discharge.

400lbs. said...

replace the 2 with a 3 please up above. numbercheck is not working on my computor.

anna said...

Kady, I can't believe you went on in awkward silence for the rest of the massage, that's just not like you!

As for Massage Man, I hope your real name isn't Roger. Because that would mean your'e Roger the Massager.
I hope I'm not the only one thinking that's really funny.

Hanna said...

You are not the only one. I think it's hilarious too.

prettiest sister said...

Kady, I love your tenacity.

Do you ever notice you get the most comments when you really embarrass yourself?

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