Cancer

So my mom basically lives with me now. She's having her chemo at Abbott, which is only a mile away. Here's how much she loves me:

New House, Vol. 4

Now, why would I need a husband when all my friends already have one?

New House, Vol. 3

Me, having a Carol-Burnett-having-a-Gone-With-The-Wind-moment:

New House, Vol. 2

If you can try to match these up with yesterday's post - these are the corresponding 'during' photos to go with. They're not after photos by any means...

Kitchen (please note the ONLY insulation in the walls was this thin layer of tar paper):

Entryway (a different view, from the bedroom looking out the door (the pink cabinets are in the garage now):

Demolition of the plaster and lathe in the bathroom:

Bathroom:

View of the entrances to the tiny bedroom (now open to the entryway and the bathroom door):

Stay tuned!

New House

So I bought a house.

Why, you may ask? Why would I move from a SAFE 2nd floor walk-up apartment that I LOVE, that only costs me $800 a month in rent, that is in the PERFECT location in the best neighborhood in all of South Minneapolis?

Because I went to my mom's over Christmas break, watched a million back-to-back episodes of Property Brothers and Tiny House Nation and Rehab Addict that's why. That's why on a whim the very day that I got home I bought a 684 square foot fixer-upper. 

This week I'm just going to post photos of my house project. I haven't been writing much lately because if I'm not in Mexico or at my full-time job or caring for those who have cancer (my mom), I'm over at this house trying to be as helpful as a 5'2" woman with no experience in such things and a car-accident back can be. 

The back of the house:

Kitchen:

Front entryway:

Bathroom (please note the 4' clawfoot bathtub that had to be cut into the tile in the wall because the bathroom is only 3'9" wide):

From the living room through the dining room and into the kitchen:

From the dining room into the front bedroom and the bathroom:

Anyway, the house is great and could have been moved into as-is, but I decided that the roof was too saggy and needed to be replaced (see photo 1) and the layout of the house is inefficient and that I wanted to add an adorable 2nd floor loft and I had been watching all those shows, so here we are. 

Stay tuned...

Baffoon Bombs it on the Beach

In Cancun the water is pretty choppy and so in the swimming areas they have these great big giantic ropes so that if you start to get tired, or are swept out to sea you can grab onto one rather than trying to swim back to shore which won't work anyway and will probably kill you.

Anyway, one day I went for a run and happened upon a wedding just near a couple of the ropes. 

I jumped over the first one, turned toward the camera and threw my arms in the air in an attempt to photo-bomb a shot of the bride and groom.

Success! 

Hilarious!

BAM! 

...I forgot about the second rope and it got me right in the knees and I face planted in the sand. Hard.

That's whatcha get.

Great Mexican Road Trip

Well...not really. But I've never been to Belize. And so when all my friends went home yesterday from Cancun I rented a car and started driving. Belize is about five hours away and along the way I stopped and visited the ruins at Tulum and Coba. 

When I left the car rental shop, I rolled down the windows (manually, of course) to let the wind blow through my hair. The freedom! A single American blonde woman traveler just rented a car to drive around in it! Look everybody! Look at me!! 

Immediately on the right hand side of the road was a taco stand and I was starving. So I pulled over into a parking lot. This kind of stuff is fun for me because:

1) I love food

2) It forces me to speak in Spanish

3) It's a mini spontaneous and very safe adventure

4) I love food

So I ordered up two tacos and they fried them right there in front of me. I loaded up on the pico de gallo. "muy picante?" I asked, "medio" they said and then I asked "por Mexicanos...or por Noruegas?"and they laughed! They laughed at my joke! Everybody! Look at me!!

I paid them $1.75 and then stood there and ate the tacos with my new side-of-the-road-taco-stand friends like a real local person. 

I thanked them and went to get in my manual stick shift Mexican rental car.

Which I realized had one of those funny reverse situations.

You know, where you can't really just put the car in reverse? You have to perform a pushing motion on the stick and then move it. But that didn't work. I tried for several minutes, while all of my new side-of-the-road-taco-stand friends watched in confusion. ...But wasn't she a single American blonde woman traveler? Shouldn't she be able to put a car in reverse?

---

I rolled down my window again (manually, of course) and yelled: "POR FAVOR! AYUDAME!!" and one of my side-of-the-road-taco-stand friends came running over, reached across my dumbfounded face and pulled up on this silly lever and slipped 'er into reverse.

And then I drove away, the wind in my hair once again.

The Mexican Chevy Aveo: Man's most complicated car

Cancun

In Local News...

Brought to you by our correspondent on the ground, Miyo Hanson...

It's Official

My Kinda Bathroom

One of my favorite things in life is free tampons in a public bathroom. This is a rare occurence, and to be honest I don't know that I've ever encountered this when I actually needed one, but I'll be honest again when I tell you I am wont to take one for later.

 

 

Amsterdam

 

 

 

Sunday Favorites: The Robe

New to A Lady Reveals Nothing? You've missed SO MUCH. Not to worry. Every Sunday, I dig through the archives to repost an old favorite. Mostly because I'm too lazy to come up with new content every single day. Enjoy! This story originally appeared November 6, 2008:

This embarrassing story just popped into my head today:

When I was in high school I worked at the local chiropractor's office as a massage therapist. I had some really nice clients from Indiana who had a cabin in Canada. The woman had severe fibromyalgia and came to see me for two-hour sessions a couple of times per week. Her husband also came in for ear candling appointments. They were so cool and I loved them. Great clients.

Anyway, the woman asked me if I would please get a robe for the massage room in case she ever needed to use the restroom and didn't want to completely get dressed. She could just throw the robe on and walk over to the restroom. So, I went to K Mart and purchased something similar to this:

Why in the heck did I buy that thing? It goes over the head, is unflattering, and is not a robe at all. One would find it easier to get dressed in their clothes than to try to wrestle this ugly thing on. Every time I think of this story I get incredibly embarrassed. And I think of it often.

If I only had a time machine...

Peg Leg Pigeon

If you ever see a pigeon in a big city -- take a look at its' feet. Certainly in New Orleans, a great big giant percentage of the birds are missing a foot:

We figured it was because they get in fights with each other, during which they peck their opponents' feet off. Not too shabby a theory...Well here is an interesting article and I'm sorry about the swear words. I couldn't find a PG version. This person claims there are three reasons:

• Predators
• Human hair
• Standing in their own poop

Who the heck knows? It's kinda cute, don't you think?

Wouldn't it be even cuter if it had had a little eye patch on and a tiny parrot on its' shoulder?

Apostle Island Ice Caves

Last year I forced my brother and his wife to take my cousin Ross and me to the Apostle Island ice caves up in northern Wisconsin. The conditions are very rare for Lake Superior to freeze solid enough so that you can hike out to these caves in the winter. Typically people kayak to them in the summertime. 

Well in 2014 for the first time in five years the National Park service opened them up to the public. It was about a three-mile hike round trip, and worth every minute.

Left to right: Ross, me, Pete, Tanya

Clockwise from left: Pete, Ross, Tanya, me

In hindsight this was probably a bad idea

This too

"Promise me anything, but...GIVE ME A HAMM'S" (remind me to tell you about this sweatshirt)

In hindsight this was probably a very very bad idea. 

Showshoeing

Have you checked out this amazing snow shoe art by Simon Beck? It's truly mind boggling.

If you don't mind those stupid buzzfeed style "articles", check out this asinine write up here, but you can also google him or follow his Facebook page, where you can see videos of him in action.

It's so cool. So so so so so so so cool.






Of course I had to try this when I was up north at my parents' house last year, but Hank kept screwing me up. Let's be honest. Hank didn't screw me up.

I bore easily.

Just look at Hank. Screwing me up.