"I'll have a cup of coffee...try to say something to your mom before she tells me to shut up."
"My God, I can't take my hand off your shoulder without hitting your butt on the way down. I gotta swing wide. Like gettin' off my four wheeler. Swing my leg wide."
"Is everything in China about sitting on a stump somewhere, meditating?"
"Do them Irish people ever stop singin'?"
"When I get dementia and start wanderin' up by Sheriff Gary Fish's place and you guys'll hafta put out an LMNOP on me."