Sunday, June 12, 2016

Sunday Favorites: Pure Poetry

New to A Lady Reveals Nothing? You've missed SO MUCH. Not to worry. Every Sunday, I dig through the archives to re-post an old favorite. Mostly because I'm too lazy to come up with new content every single day. Enjoy! This story originally appeared on August 6, 2013:




My brother sent me this text tonight -- a photo of a poem I wrote to him when I was younger:




If you can't read it, here's a transcript:


ODE TO PETE

My love for you Pete
stretches from here to Crete
it will outlast time
and unlike a mime
it proclaims loud and clear
that I hold you so dear
your picture I hold close to my heart
even though in the past in my face you would fart
hold me down on the floor
from your butt the juice would pour
I could not withstand
the force of your hands
holding me down
in your stench I would drown
the air would turn grey
but...I love you anyway



BONUS JOKE:
How do we know Jeffrey Dahmer was a careless smoker?
He left BUTTS behind the couch.*



*#1: The Jeffrey Dahmer reference dates this poem to approximately 1992, or me at 15. #2: I'm so sorry. That joke is terribly insensitive and I would slap my 15-year-old self up if I had a time machine. Who am I kidding? If I had a time machine I would slap my 15-year-old self up for perming my short hair:




My apologies to the victims' families.

1 comment:

Cindy Dy said...

So happy to be given a privilege to post a comment here. You have a wonderful site. Thank you for the effort to publish this.

www.gofastek.com

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