This came from my friend J.:
This morning on my way to work, I decided I needed to know what time it was. As I approached the stop sign at the end of my street I quickly glanced in my rear view mirror and saw no one behind me. So I decided to dig through my bag for my watch while I sat at the stop sign.
I then realized it had been days since I had applied lip balm, so I rummaged in my bag for Burt's, found it, and started to put some on without looking up around me. Out of my peripheral vision I see a car to my left. Evidently the driver had pulled up behind me, and then decided to go around. I looked up and made eye contact with this guy while holding a tube of lip balm. He glared at me as if to say, "what the H-E-double-hockey-sticks are you doing?!"