Saturday, July 25, 2009

Trader Joe's

So, as I learned from my mother at a very young age, there is no reason to go to the grocery store but once every couple months. As I posted earlier, I had NO GROCERIES the other day, so I decided it was time to go. I spent $276. My favorite thing to say while I am wheeling a heaping cart-full at the check out line is, "I LIVE ALONE". So this time before I had a chance to say my signature hilarious joke, an employee kind of looked at my cart sideways, and as she walked away I screamed, "WHAT? YOU THINK THIS IS TOO MUCH FOOD FOR SOMEBODY WHO LIVES ALONE??? ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT???"
Lots of people looked like, 'huh'? And then the cashier (who was sorta cute) asked if I wanted to put my name in the drawing because I brought my own tote bags, and I said, "Is this your way of getting my phone number?" and he goes, "I'm married."

And then I said with fist slicing the air, "CRAP".

p.s. This trip to Trader Joe's was kind of disappointing. My bag of arugula, my Trader Joe's brand Organic milk and an $8.00 package of sliced roasted turkey all went bad after like one use. You shoulda seen the chunks of wasn't even liquid. And the expire date is 7/26. Like, the future. And those of you who know me know that I don't go by those silly dates, I just drink the milk until it stinks too bad to drink it.
I hate throwing away food! It is like so against my religion.


A Lady Reveals Nothing said...

Which is exactly why I'm drinking Diet Dr. Chill by Super Chill, because somebody left it at my house and I can't bring myself to throw it away.


Mom said...

Boy, I trained you well. You shop like me, eat like me, are frugal like me and you even embarrass yourself in public like me. I take that back....this event that you did is something I might have done.....but now that I think about your other exploits,(which are for all to read on this blog) I think you have me topped. WAY TOPPED.
Some day in the far future you will need to learn a lesson I have been learning....when you are young and cute, you can get away with more stuff, but as you age, you find you wish you would act it. Just remember, you have to be the one to figure out when that day will be. You have no daughters to elbow you and say "Mo-om!" like I did.

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