So, as I learned from my mother at a very young age, there is no reason to go to the grocery store but once every couple months. As I posted earlier, I had NO GROCERIES the other day, so I decided it was time to go. I spent $276. My favorite thing to say while I am wheeling a heaping cart-full at the check out line is, "I LIVE ALONE". So this time before I had a chance to say my signature hilarious joke, an employee kind of looked at my cart sideways, and as she walked away I screamed, "WHAT? YOU THINK THIS IS TOO MUCH FOOD FOR SOMEBODY WHO LIVES ALONE??? ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT???"
Lots of people looked like, 'huh'? And then the cashier (who was sorta cute) asked if I wanted to put my name in the drawing because I brought my own tote bags, and I said, "Is this your way of getting my phone number?" and he goes, "I'm married."
And then I said with fist slicing the air, "CRAP".
p.s. This trip to Trader Joe's was kind of disappointing. My bag of arugula, my Trader Joe's brand Organic milk and an $8.00 package of sliced roasted turkey all went bad after like one use. You shoulda seen the chunks of milk...it wasn't even liquid. And the expire date is 7/26. Like, the future. And those of you who know me know that I don't go by those silly dates, I just drink the milk until it stinks too bad to drink it.
I hate throwing away food! It is like so against my religion.