Hal: "I don't think you should travel anymore. I was watching this movie and this guy's daughter was killed 25 years ago and they were pursuing her boyfriend as a suspect and it turns out it was her boyfriend's dad!"
Me: "Does this mean I got a boyfriend? I mean at least if my boyfriend's dad killed me that means I ended up getting a boyfriend!"
Hal: "Look. Just don't travel. OK? I'll let you check my five coyote traps I set today."
Me: "Oh. Dad. I don't know if we can be friends anymore, I became a vegetarian two weeks ago."
Hal: "Well we ain't gonna eat the coyotes Kady."