Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Hal-isms, Vol. 52

"You know that saying 'come out smellin' like a rose'? You know where that comes from? Actually, the whole thing goes: 'you could crawl in a bucket of crap and come out smellin' like a rose.' You and me, Kady? We could crawl in a bucket of crap and come out. But we'd still smell like crap."

"I can't afford to get my chest pains checked out. Your mom used all the money on her health."

"Kady, If I leave one shirt out on the back of a chair, she's upset. If Rowdy has ten pillows and she has eight blankets strewn all over the house there's nothing wrong with that."

"I got a revelation for ya on my learning how to spell. But I'm really worried about...I'm calling about your back. How's your back, Dear?"

"When I die your mother'll sell all my guns and sit down at the Nighthawk. Drinking and listening to the jukebox -- her lipstick askew."

I guess he's resorted to suspenders now. So his pants won't fall off his narrow hips.

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