Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Clamato Jugs and Other Valuables

Cleaning out my dad's garage was pretty tough. He saves lots of seemingly worthless things. But, in his mind, they are priceless. Because everything has a use. If he needs to fix something, he always has just the right 2 X 4 to nail to it or the right screw to screw into it. He even has excess lawn mower handles in case the lawn mower's handle needs fixing he can just weld a new one. Even though the current lawn mower is 20 years old and has never needed a new handle. But throwing stuff away hasn't been easy for him. The quote I kept hearing over and over was, "it's not worth anything, but it's valuable. Valuable."  My sisters and I boxed up a bunch of stuff he couldn't part with, and joked that we should just label every box, "VALUABLES." Here's an example of the kinds of conversations we were having all week:

Me: "Dad, why are you saving all these Clamato jugs?"

Dad: "For peein'."

Me: "Can I throw them away?"

Dad: *faints*


Dad:  "These riggin' straps ain't worth anything, but they're valuable."

Me:  "Can I throw them away?"

Dad: "Kady!  the Value!"


He's very organized.  And every little box contains a different kind of nail or screw or hook or cord or tack or what-have-you:

And here we have a bag of 27 plastic crow decoys.  For shootin' crows.  (They got packed for the cabin):

My dad has a TON of bungie cords. He will pull over on the freeway if he sees a stray bungie cord to pick it up. I don't think he has ever paid for one. He just collects them, and according to my mom he has never and will never use them. One time they were hauling something somewhere and were trying to figure out how to tie whatever it was down. My mom suggested they use one of his bungie cords. He about fainted. Right now, they are boxed up to be moved to the cabin. Not loose, to use for the move.  Boxed up, to be moved. And hung. In the new garage. For not using.

Tonight's Hal-ism: "My achin' a**. My achin' legs. My achin' knees. I'm a dyin' man. And now I'm throwing away valuable Clamato jugs."


Sarah said...

Mitch is so upset with you. He saw the title of this post and thought it said, "Clamato,(COMMA)Jugs, and other valuables, so he was hoping to see a little boob but he only got to see Hal's old garbage. He thinks when you say the word jugs, you should at least link to some jugs of the boob variety. This is why punctuation is so important!

Mom said...

Sorry, Sarah, tell Mitch these are the only jugs of mine he is gonna see. Dianne

Sarah said...

I'll tell him, Dianne. He is so disappointed! BTW, I like how the paint brushes are stacked up in a perfect little line in one of the pics.

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