Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Waitressing Crowd-Pleasers

Some of the HILARIOUS things I do and say at work --

When someone compliments the food I serve: "Thanks, I made it myself."  (this was funnier when I didn't actually have to cook the food.) 

When a little kid orders a Pepsi: "Can I see your ID?" 

When delivering drinks to a little kid: I deliver them their parents' beer and say, "here's your Busch Light, Sir/Ma'am."  And then when they react I look confused, and then I say, "oh, I'm sorry, yes.  You had the Whiskey 7."  And then when they react I look confused again, and then I say, "oh, I'm sorry, yes.  You had the Shirley Temple."

When someone accidentally sees me in the bathroom, elbow-deep in the crapper, gloved up, toilet scrubber in hand: "Oh I'm sorry, I'm in an important business meeting.  I'll be right with you."

When someone accidentally sees me mopping the floor: (Here I break into dance.  Think RUN RUN RUN RUN, alternating feet stomping, running in place.  Then I break into song:)  "She works HARD for the money!  So hard for it honey!"

More to follow.  I'm constantly working on my act.


Kim said...

My favorite: asking the kids for their ID.

When you add more, I'd like to hear the reactions you get, unless, of course, no one's getting your jokes; and you're the only one laughing.

Flaggy said...

When people order drinks, you should slam it down on the bar and slide it to them. Let me know how many make it.

A Lady Reveals Nothing said...

Zero, Teri. Zero.

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