"You tell your mother there is no snow in the living room. We are not moving to Cancun where a gerbil will crawl up your neck while you're sleeping."
"Everything has to be pronounced SO perfectly around here."
"Call up the obituary. What do you call the guy who after you die he cuts you open, fills you up with sand and puts you in the coffin? Oh, the mortician!"
"Change a dog's name. That's a sin."
"I unlove you."