"That'll be $1.00." I say, secretly impressed with this new, genius idea. Why hadn't I thought of it before?
"Huh?" He says.
"$1.00 a fart."
His buddies started laughing hysterically. (Apparently he's the farter of the bunch and he's been bugging them with his farting the whole weekend.) I made $4.00 fart tax before closing time.
Tonight they came back in, and we enjoyed merry conversation, when suddenly he excused himself to go outside. To fart, of course.
"See now, man, you are MAKING MONEY." I told him.
p.s. This totally confirms my philosophy that if you hit a man in the pocketbook he will finally listen to you. You can beg and plead and even cry, and never make headway. Start charging for indiscretions -- now you got submission.
*Bring your cash, check or VISA if you can't leave your farts at home.