Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Hal-isms, Vol. 8

"I don't mind killing animals, but I hate killing a tree.  ...Unless it's already dead and I cut it up to burn it."

"I didn't pack extra socks.  But I don't suppose I can pee that far."

"Jeans are great.  They dampen, and they dry."

and our old favorite:   "Oh no! My achin' ass."


Anonymous said...

Is he still in pull-ups? Lmbo. Love, Jacqui

Dianne said...

ooooh Jacqui, do I have some stories for you...he graduated to the pads which are identical to the feminine pads you might get after having a baby.

Step 1: stand with your underwear at your knees.
Step 2: pull off protective tape-covering and lay it face up on the sink. (don't ask me why he does this step)
Step 3: rip the pad off the sink (it is now stuck there) and place pad in underwear and pull them up.

Step 4: Dianne notices glue from the tape all over her sinktop and freaks out.

Story #2:
Hal whispers to me --- Dianne, I think my pad just fell out. I must have forgotten to pull off the tape-covering.

Story #3:
Dianne, I didn't get my pants pulled up in time, do you notice any drips on my pants?

Tell Betsy I need her desperately to come and take care of her brother.

Anonymous said...

Diane, I am laughing so hard I need my own feminine pee pee pad. Good stuff. Thanks for sharing. Love, Jacqui

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