Friday, August 27, 2010

Something Sort of Weird and Dangerous Just Happened, Vol 2

Ah, Minneapolis.

Today in Midtown at US Bank, I held the door for a Chinese grandpa and his little granddaugher. Then I sat waiting to change the PIN number on my debit card. To my right, two Somalians discussed something something New Mexico something Texas, blah blah Colorado. An Ethiopian woman walked by a Mexican family who were all helped by a Swedish man.

I was just marveling at how, after months of travel behind me and months more to come, Minneapolis is really the place to be for a multicultural experience. You go to Cambodia, and you see Cambodians, Laos has Laotians, etc. But Minneapolis has everybody! And that's why I HEART Minneapolis.

Afterward, I walked to the corner to cross the street, and at the stoplight I saw a woman with a double stroller and two stray kids, one on a leash and the other was bent over the stroller playing with a TINY TINY baby. The little boy on the leash was digging in the dirt and throwing sand, which immediately led me to believe that he has autism like my nephew, and so I was drawn to this little family. As I got closer, I was horrified to see that the other stray kid, an 8-ish year old girl, was tugging on the nose of the TINY TINY baby, like it was a kid or something. I asked the mom, how old is this baby and she said 4 days! She had it at Abbott. She had the rottenest teeth in the world, and soon I realized that she had crazy track marks on her ankles. Then the kid with the rocks threw a bunch and one landed on the TINY TINY baby! I actually considered stealing the baby and running away, but then my good sense got the better of me and I crossed the street instead, reasoning that if I had a baby I probably wouldn't be able to go to Central America next month.

Across the street, at Midtown Global Market, I bought a Huarachaza and ate it. A very sloppy drunk man who was wobbling all over the place came up and said, "all I need is 85 cents". Normally I totally give people money but I had no change because I just gave it for a tip, and so I told him that. Then he said, "can I just have your leftovers then?" "Sure!" I said, but truly, I don't ever leave leftovers and so I was skeptical for his chances. Then he sat down with me. I was kind of irritated because I was sort of happy eating on my own, but then I decided this dude is harmless. However I did turn my tray, pretending to eat the other side of my meal, so that my wallet was closer to me than him.

He talked about the funeral of somebody named Aaron something, who was 'very prominent' in Little Earth and something something and then he said that the Aaron guy has a lot of limousines. I said, "but then he died?"


"Well, "passed away" would have been more appropriate..." he said, and just as I was about to laugh that a very drunk dude was trying to teach me the rules of propriety, suddenly a security guard came up and said, "YOU GOTTA LEAVE." to the guy. Then he asked him, "Do you know this girl?" And the guy was like, "yah" but I shook my head NO. So the security guard yanked the dude's arm, twisted it behind his back, and physically FORCED him out the door of the place. As he was leaving, I caught the eye of a girl who worked at a restaurant and she mouthed to me, "I called security". "Thank you" I mouthed back.

And then I drank two margaritas.

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