Saturday, March 12, 2011


So I have been swimming most nights at the semi-olympic lap pool at our apartment.  I am into numbers and distances and accomplishing difficult tasks and doing better today than yesterday, so I did a lot of research to find out how many meters the pool was so I could keep a log of my progress.

I went on the apartment complex website.  Nothing.  (That was pretty much all the research I did.)  I went to the pool and walked alongside it and counted the steps, thinking that one step is probably about three feet~ish, which is about a meter.  25!  Semi-olympic.

I worked up to swimming 20 laps, (40 lengths) or 1 kilometer pretty quickly and always made sure to swim at least that each time I got in the pool.  I kind of became obsessive about it in fact.  So obsessive I bought an ugly lap-swimming bathing suit and goggles and a nose pincher.

Three times I even swam a mile!  35 laps.  Boy was I proud of myself.

Well, last night there were three swimmers in the pool swimming laps and so there was no room for me.  Katie convinced me to go to the other pool (yes, posh, we have 3 pools here), and I asked a man there how many meters he thought it was from end to end so I could do my laps.  He said 10 or 15, and that the other pool is 20. 

Record player scratch.  STOP.  WHAT??!!?  20?!?  Not 25?  Then he told me he went to Google Earth and got the measurement.  I still didn't believe him and so my friend Dustin counted off with his feet 70 steps, at size 10, which is 700 inches, which is around 20 meters.  Then I made two dudes at the pool get involved, and they counted off meters and came up with 20 as well.

So, I never did swim a mile.  And all those many many many kilometers I swam were actually half-miles. 

My only consolation is how beautiful I feel.

Oh well who cares whatever. But, according to my new calculations, 40 laps is a mile. And so tonight I really did swim a mile. That made me feel better. The end.


Sarah said...

You look like the incredible Mr Limpet.

A Lady Reveals Nothing said...

I had to google that. And you're right.

By the by, Johnny Depp will be starring in a remake this year.

Flaggy said...

You need to take bigger steps.

Hobo Siren said...

I love the part where you thought somehow your two foot long legs stretched three feet...

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