Last night after work I got into the elevator to find three young handsome men including a bearded redhead -- and you know I'm a total sucker for beards and for redheads. They were in the middle of a conversation but that didn't stop me from stepping right in the middle of all three of them, while maintaining eye contact with the redhead and declaring,
"OOOH! I LIKE MY CHANCES!"
And then acknowledging the awkwardness of making that joke right upon entering the elevator, not considering the time required to make a 10-floor descent, I turned back to the door and declared again,
"I SHOULD HAVE MADE THAT JOKE A LITTLE LATER IN THE ELEVATOR RIDE. HEH HEH HAHEHAHDHADHEHDHHAHHAHAHA. AWKWARD. HAHAHAHAah!!!!!"
They looked at me, confused and the redhead continued speaking, presumably where they had left off before I broke their conversation. '...and then I talked to Rosalind about it...'
And then I interrupted again, mock-angrily-crazy-eyesed, (you know, like a jealous hag over the '10-second relationship' I had just pretend garnered with the bearded red-headed cute one), cocking my head and positioning my arms across my chest:
"OH. ROSALIND. YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
"No. She's my manager." By now they realized I wasn't going to let them have their conversation and that clearly I wanted all of the attention on me. They gave me a slight pity laugh (because come on, that jealous bit was FUNNY) and then mercifully the elevator doors opened and THEN I said,
"I'M GONNA GET OUT OF HERE REALLY FAST BECAUSE I'M EMBARRASSED."
I went left when I should have went right, and then I figured it out and had to turn around and walk past them again and then I walked really really fast out of the building, with the three handsome men following me all of the way out.
|WHY can't I be more like her?|