Sunday Favorites: Henry

New to A Lady Reveals Nothing?  You've missed SO MUCH.  Not to worry.  Every Sunday, I dig through the archives to repost an old favorite.  Mostly because I'm too lazy to come up with new content every single day.  Enjoy!  This story first appeared on March 19, 2010:

While traveling in New Zealand, my friend Teri and I stayed with the most adorable couple, Henry and Marion.  They're in their 70s and I just loved them.  So much so that after Teri went home, I stayed an extra week.  I was determined to be a good guest and so I told Henry one day that I would help him with any chores that needed to be done.

He asked me to accompany him on his errands which included a trip to the dump.  Mind you, the garbage man comes to Henry's house, and so does the recycling man.  In fact, they had just been out that morning.  But that wasn't good enough for Henry.  He wanted to deliver his own garbage and recycling.  And now I totally understand why! 

We parked outside the glass area, and chucked each and every bottle individually into it's proper bin (brown, green, clear).  He reckoned I couldn't throw very well and so I had to try it.  It was so fun to break all the bottles.  Here is Henry tossing his bottles:

This one was mine:
(Henry said, "get out your aggressions, Hexum")

Cans and plastic:

This pile of crap was home to the four gas refridgerators that Henry pinched and fixed up. Three went up to their cabin (bach) and he gave the other one away.

Then he brought me to the Foundry where he worked for many years. We got to see them melting steel and pouring it into moulds! And then of course we were kicked out for safety reasons. But then Henry talked to the guy for a while and convinced him to take us to an even better viewing spot and I got some pictures.

They made some of the Regata Sailboats here in Thames that were in a famous sailboat race in the States. Sorry, can't remember which one.  How interesting!

Henry is so full of pluck I tell you, he's always joking around. So anyway after our trip to the dump I did get a chance to help him lift some heavy bags filled with sawdust up into a truck. He had jumped up into the truck and I was handing him the bags. I found a bag that looked like it was completely full, but it was super light and so there must have been something different inside it than all the other bags. Anyway, I saved it for almost last and then pretended that the big bag was super, super heavy with my awesome acting skills and then he looked at me like I was so stupid for trying to lift something so heavy, and even coached me on how to hand it to him. He got prepared to lift a very heavy bag and when I let go he gasped!  The light-as-air bag went flying.  I got him! And then he threw it at me.

Country Song Lyric of the Day

"You can blend in in the country, be a stand out in the fashion world.  Be invisible to a white tail and irresistible to a redneck girl...
"Designed by Mother Nature and by God...
"Ain't nothing that dudn't go with camouflage."

Friday Blog Love

This Friday, I'm sending a little shout out to dbs of Think.Stew.

He's funny, he's Canadian, and he likes to combine words to make new meanings.  Another one of my favorite features is his "things that deserve the stink-eye", a hilarious showcase of life's little irritations.  Enjoy!

Hal-isms, Vol. 19

"This guy ought to be given a gasoline enema.  And then light a match."

"I don't want to learn anything tonight.  I just want to eat some popcorn."

"I kiss my rifle.  People laugh.  I tell you what.  But I shoot deer too."

"I'm beginning to think that movies aren't really real."

"One thing about a wet saddle.  You'll stick to it."

Uncle Joe

If you'll forgive a somber post...

My Uncle Joe is dying.  He's been a very 'special' member of our family, in the very politically correct sense of the word, as he is Developmentally Disabled.

Here's a little tribute to good ol' Uncle Joel Burgess, 58.

Handsome fella.  Cerca 1976.  Age 23.

Floatin'.  Age 47.

These next two were taken the day Joe cleared the beach.  He was playing with my cousin Ryan and lost track of him.  So he told the lifeguard that Ryan was missing and all the kids had to get out of the water, sending everybody into a Ryan-finding frenzy.  Of course Ryan was safely nowhere near the water.  Check out Joe's muscles!

Uncle Joe loved to go fishing with his brothers.  My Uncle Danny used to get a lot of guff because he always brought way too much stuff on the boat.  When asked what he thought Danny could name his new boat, Joe suggested, "The Kitchen Sink".

A couple life lessons we can all learn from Uncle Joe:

• Be happy.
• Smile.
• Never end a conversation without saying, "I Love You."
• If you're waking up from a surgery in the recovery room at the hospital, a funny thing to say when the Doctor comes in is "What's Up Doc?"

See you in the funny papers, Joe.  

Guest Post: My Embarrassing Tampon Story

From my Sister Kim:

Our front yard was visible from at least 30 apartments as well as the neighboring houses.  Once, I was wrestling on the front lawn while neighbor kids and family were hanging around.  I was wearing an adorable pair of powder pink painter pants that had a long, skinny tool pocket down the leg.  It was a perfect sized pocket to store o.b. tampons.  Or so I thought.
One of the tampons fell out of the pocket.  I didn't see it until one of the neighbor kids was holding it up waving it, and yelling, “Hey, Kim, do you smoke?! I didn’t know you smoked!!”

Care to share an embarrassing tampon story in the comments?  (Of course you can remain anonymous, but you'll get 1 Million extra points for identifying yourself.)

12 Things I Learned While Traveling the World

I spent much of 2010 & 2011 traveling the world, living out of a backpack.  Here are twelve things I learned:

1) I Never Met a Stranger
If you aren't able to speak the language of the country in which you're traveling, that's OK.  This deaf woman and I had a 45 minute conversation using only our hands.  Smile.  Learn a few phrases in every language.  'Hello', 'Goodbye', 'Thank You' and 'Excuse Me' go a long way.

Vietnam.

2) Soap is Soap.

You can wash your hair, your face, your body and your clothes with shampoo.  I recommend Pantene because it works great for all purposes, and you can get it everywhere in the world.

3) You Don't Need Much.

The less stuff you have, the less stuff you have to carry.

4) People are People.

All over the world people are pretty much the same.  Mostly, they're nice.

Indonesia.

5) Face Fears.

They're not that scary when you're staring them in the face.  I'm claustrophobic and deathly afraid of sharks.  But pass up on a chance to dive the Great Barrier Reef?  Not this gal.

Australia.

6) Slow Down.

Going slowly reduces stress, and costs a lot less.  The best lesson I learned is how to relax, breathe, quit scheduling and enjoy life at a much slower pace.  You'll see and experience so much more.

7) Pack a Towel.

There are always going to be spontaneous trips to a waterfall, the ocean or a pool.  A towel also makes a great blanket and/or pillow on a long bus ride.

Nicaragua.

8) Try Something New.

Roasted grasshoppers taste just like roasted nuts.  Easy.  And no, I don't like tripe.  But I tried it, which made my adorable Italian-Brazilian hosts very happy.

9) Waiting Isn't So Bad.

A large part of travel is spent waiting.  For the bus.  For the plane.  For the museum to open.  Calm down and be prepared.  I listened to a lot of free podcasts of This American Life on iTunes.  Always have a book handy just in case.  You might be surprised to find you actually look forward to times when you're able to just.  Wait.

10) Everything's Negotiable.

Another helpful phrase to learn in the language of the country you're visiting is 'I don't have a lot money'.  I brought this home with me, and now I'll frequently ask for discounts while shopping or dining out.  The majority of the time I succeed.

11) Accept Hospitality Graciously.

There are so many opportunities while traveling to be gracious and allow people to show their hospitality.  I had to learn this one, because it doesn't come naturally.  Smile, say 'thank you' and vow to pay it forward to the next visitors who come your way.  

12) Home is a Precious, Wonderful Thing.

'Nuff Said.

*I love this woman's list of seven things you learn about yourself while traveling solo.

The Year In Review -- 2011

Everybody's doing their "2011 Year in Review" and I almost forgot I do that too!

What a year!  I spent the first half of it traveling through Central and South America and the second half of it working.  My 2011 by the numbers:
11 countries.
18 states.
3 jobs.
302 blog posts.



Here are some highlights from my 34th year:

I spent January through March on the beach in Costa Rica, suffering through Anna Karenina.

While I was there I bought a "car".

...and hung upside down over a canyon and...

...discovered the Human Pyramid.

Then I got a visit from a Bestie, and we jumped in a crater lake in Nicaragua.

And then I went fishin' in Brazil and...

...saw the Iguazu Falls.

Then I went to Peru!!  Where I...

...hiked the Inca Trail with my Motley Crew.  Here we are at the highest point along the Trail...

...made it!  We totally walked to Machu Picchu.

Caught (and released) the biggest fish of my life.  Minnesota.

Got to live with this lovely lady.  Louisiana / Michigan / Arizona.

Got a boyfriend.  (In his late seventies, but hey).  New Orleans.

Lived around the corner from Brad and Angelina!  (There they are, to the left of that pink house with green shutters.  This photo was taken from our bathroom.)  According to my binoculars, they were never there.  New Orleans.

I became a water meter Installer.  Kind of.  Michigan.

Finally saw the Grand Canyon.  Arizona.

My hair grew back!

My parents got me a new brother,  "Rowdy".  Minnesota.

Went Ice Fishing!

Drum roll please...my favorite post of 2011.  What was yours?  Please let me know in the comments.

UPDATE: A Link to Davin and Kelly's favorite post (see comments), and my most-commented post EVER: Surprise for Kelly.

Friday Blog Love

Ever written a note to a coworker?  Roommate?  And were you just a little more bold than you would have been in real life?  Did you know that there is an internet website dedicated to the sole purpose of documenting and exposing those passive aggressive notes?  Remember that next time you're tempted to warn others to keep their hands off your food in the work fridge.

Passive Aggressive Notes

This is the kind of blog that you can stay up until 2am just reading and laughing and clicking to the next page and laughing some more.  You're Welcome.

Try these at work.





*Language Warning!  Due to their passive aggressive nature, some of the notes have naughty words.

Reasons Why Not

While in Costa Rica, I was talking to an older gentleman about my next big travel dream, in which I fly  to France, pop over to Switzerland (where I'll meet my niece Karley for an epic snowboarding extravaganza) and then get on the train.  I'll head up to Denmark, over to Poland and then make my way down down down through Eastern Europe seeing as much as I can on the way to Greece and Turkey.  Then I bop on over to Egypt and the Middle East and finally fly to India/Nepal/Burma, stay there for several months and then come home via Japan.

(And it might even happen if I could ever make more than $35 in tips during a shift at the Lodge.  Stupid ice...)

Anyway, he had a reason why I should NOT go to any of those places.  The two most memorable were:

Turkey.

This man was quite sure I would be kidnapped and then sold into the sex trade -- "they love the blonde haired/blue eyed's, you know".  My roommate Nicole squashed that notion by informing him that I'm too old for that.  Ouch.

India.

"They don't have toilets in India.  People go to the bathroom in the streets.  And, you -- being blonde haired/blue eyed, people are going to want to see what you look like down there."

Thanks, Creepy.

Now That's Good Parenting

When I was growing up, my family managed an apartment complex in South International Falls, Minnesota. All of us six kids had chores to do, including mowing the lawn, shoveling the sidewalks, picking up trash, etc. As a family we painted each unit between renters. My job was to scrub with a Brillo pad the plastic baseboards to remove any paint splatters that happened while the older kids paint-rolled the walls.

In addition to all of that, once a week we were each responsible to tidy the common areas of one of the buildings. This meant picking up cigarette butts, vacuuming hallways and stairs, sweeping and mopping the laundry rooms and wiping walls and laundry machines as needed. You can read about our compensation for this work here.

One day my dad came into the house, brandishing a fresh, crisp $20 bill. "Kady!" he called, "Look what I found behind the washing machine in your building!" I immediately began spending saving that money in my mind. For an actual minute I really thought he was going to give ME the money he found in MY building. Ha.

Instead, he folded it slowly and dramatically placed it in his wallet. "If only you had done a better job of cleaning, this could have been yours", he said, and shrugged his shoulders as if it really weren't his decision to make. (Remember that $20 when I was eight is the equivalent of about $1,000 today.)

You better believe that for the rest of my tenure as a cleaning person at the South Falls Apartments, I was scouring that laundry room with a toothbrush, hoping for another cash money windfall that never came. It was only last week that I asked my dad on the way to ice fishing if he really found that $20 bill behind the washing machine in my building.  

"I never found a $20 bill in my life."  He said.

Now THAT'S good parenting.

"Just take out your anger on this target Kady while I protect my hearing."

A Lady Reveals Nothing.

LOVE THIS fifteen second French film. You'll probably be able to figure out why.



 
15-Second French Films: TREIZE from Molly Green on Vimeo.

Hal-isms, Vol. 18

"I really don't litter.  Well, I just did, but..." 

"I got a lotta work to do in this County"

"There's no wind today. I thought we could sit here in peace and harmony.  Buncha bull.  We can't." 

"Me with my smaller portions I'm kind of like losing weight every second."

"I like it when my blood just flows through my body without hitting any lumps or bumps."

Sunday Favorites: Frozen Tampons

New to A Lady Reveals Nothing?  You've missed SO MUCH.  Not to worry.  Every Sunday, I dig through the archives to repost an old favorite.  Mostly because I'm too lazy to come up with new content every single day.  Enjoy!  This story first appeared on September 2, 2010:


Kady Hexum Got Grossed Out:


Not possible, I know.  But tonight I heard a real doozie at the Lodge.  APPARENTLY, in Southern Indiana and other parts unknown in this country there are MEN who FREEZE bloody TAMPONS and thaw them out when it's time to go deer hunting.  Then they tie them to tree limbs and wait for the big bucks to come in.  These poor bucks think there's a doe having her embarrassing time and they go NUTS.  And then the hunters shoot the big bucks.  When I heard this story I buried my head in my hands.  I could not believe it.  GROSS!

I have a few questions:

1. What woman saves her used tampons for this purpose, or any other?
2. How do these women give the used tampons to the hunting men?  Ziplock baggies?  Tupperware?
3. Where are they frozen?  The kitchen freezer, alongside popsicles and brocolli?
4. Does the hunting man touch the bloody tampon with his bare fingers?  To tie it to the tree?
5. Where does the bloody tampon go once the deer is shot?  Do they remain in the tree for all eternity?
6. Just how many bloody tampons does it take to lure a male deer?
7. Why do men, when talking about tampons, always call them "Tampax"?
8. Why can't I stop thinking about this?

Ice Fishin'

Finally home in northern, Northern Minnesota.  The part of Minnesota where people's conversations revolve mainly around (depending on the time of year) the harvest, fishing, deer hunting, snow and ice conditions.  

In an effort to secure my place as Favorite Daughter, I agreed to go ice fishing with my dad.  Cold doesn't begin to describe it.  Hopefully my photos capture that.

Eat your heart out, Kelly.

Lake of the Woods on the horizon.

Watch and wait.  I should have brought my ice skates, for how perfectly smooth the ice was.

Yah, that's a bucket of fish I'm sitting on.

Friday Blog Love

A couple girls.  A camper trailer.  A vintage shop.  Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada.  

Check 'em out.  They're adorbs!

Etsy / Twitter / Blog

Shash-age Links

Shash

Do you have a friend who's always in the know?

The kind of girl you call when you spill on your laptop keyboard, because you know she'll know what to do? The kind of girl who actually catches fish on a Girls' Fishing weekend?

Creative?

Smart?

Beeeeee-utiful?

For me, this friend is Ashley. I call her -- affectionately -- Shash.

Well I asked The ol' McShash to do a link roundup for A Lady Reveals Nothing because man, she is good at this stuff! She's the one who clued me into postcardly.com. She's the one who introduced me to yesandyes.org. And she's the one who makes the Best. Mixed. Tapes. Ever.

So y'all. Check out these amazing links. Straight from the Shash:

_________________________

Do you know where the term “cup of joe” came from? I didn’t either. This comic explains 15 amazing facts about coffee.



Get your cheaper, BETTER grade B maple syrup while you can! Grade B isn’t inferior syrup, it just tastes more like maple. But soon, the maple syrup grading system is going to change.

If you live in the Midwest, you remember how horrible last winter was. It’s the end of December and we have hardly any snow, but they’re still predicting a re-run of last year. Hold onto your butts....

You probably don’t have 36 minutes to watch this lecture by illustrator Kate Bingman Burt, but you should definitely visit Kate’s website and take a look at her daily purchase drawings. Makes you think about your own consumption.

Doughnuts are the new cupcakes in the Twin Cities. Heavy Table, a Twin Cities based online food & drink magazine that focuses on the cuisine of the upper Midwest, made a handy flow chart to help you figure out where you should get your sugar fix!

I have a cat, Data. He’s super awesome. Now all I need is the baby and I don’t even have to take care of it. Data can handle raising it. Cat Soothes Crying Baby Back To Sleep

I’ve always loved staring at maps. I could stare at this illustration forever: U.S. Routes as a Subway Map

Most of us take more photos with our phones than with “real” cameras these days, and everyone’s bad at getting prints made. I love the concept behind the new iOS & Android camera/photo printing app, Dotti. It acts like a disposable camera. When you’re done with the “roll” of 12 exposures they will print and send your photos right to your door!

I recently went to a Bon Iver  concert with my husband and some friends. They were phenomenal, of course, but I really loved the opener too. Watch the take away show La Blogotheque did with Lianne La Havas. [BONUS: She’s walking through the streets of Paris, when it was warm out. Remember when it used to be summertime?]