"A turd is a turd. You can pick it up, smell it, taste it. But it's a turd."
On the comparison between him and Archie Bunker:
"But he lived in a city."
On him being a country version of Archie Bunker: "I'll accept that."
Yelling from the TV area to my brother, in the dining room area (remember this is all in a one-room shack): "Pete! Fire in a barn!" (While watching My Pal Trigger, during a scene were there is fire in a barn.)