I bartended at a couple of Fishing Lodges, near the border of Canada two summers in a row. As you can imagine, my personality lends itself pretty well to bartending. As you can also imagine in that job a lot of unwanted attention floats your way. I was able to deflect a lot of it, oftentimes by pulling out my surefire mood killer in which I stare 'em right in the eye and say, deadpan:
"I WANT A BABY."
Anyway, one night one of my seventyish-year-old customers asked me,
"Would you have sex with me for a thousand dollars?"
I politely declined.
He hung his head and said, "That's too bad. I sure could have used the money."