Thursday, February 2, 2012

Landlord Advice

It's true that some people have to learn the hard way.  But that doesn't have to be you.  Don't make the same mistakes I've made!

Let's say you've spent the last four weeks caulking bathtubs and replacing smoke detector batteries and fixing faucet leaks and pulling gobs of hair from drains and painting entire floors and toothbrushing toilets and Chinese-New-Year cleaning in order to bring your beloved home up to Minneapolis City Code by way of one-hundred point checklist...in order to pass a $1000 inspection to obtain a $69 license so that you can find a renter suitable to live in the house you have nurtured and loved immeasurably over the past nine years...

...better not to explain to said renter (especially if that person is an attractive professional manly-man) how your new living situation has a precariously placed bathroom off your Hosts' kitchen, within earshot and smellshot of the entire first floor.  Do NOT further explain that you feel like you're "on stage" every time you go in there.  It's also not necessary to tell him you're thinking of "changing your schedule" while pointing to your colon.  





6 comments:

Sarah Lindahl said...

You are a classy, classy lady.

BTW, can you really change your "schedule"? I'd pay money to learn how to do that.

A Lady Reveals Nothing said...

It's easier said than done, it seems.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, sweetie. C.

Anonymous said...

I had L. read this and he has been walking around making very loud fart noises.....

Rae said...

Oh man I just moved in with my boyfriend and we are going through the same...adjustments. Honeymoon's over!

A Lady Reveals Nothing said...

Hey C., tell L. to stick it in his ear!

haha Rae...I guess it's time to 'get to know' eachother.

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