Thursday, June 7, 2012

Overheard in Minneapolis, (Rated PG-13)

I have a very good buddy named Kasey who doesn't drive which basically means that he meets lots of interesting crazy people on the bus. We got together for a drink the other night and he told me some "overheards" that I had to share.

Forgive the language.

Just pretend it was you. Overhearing the language.

A man on the bus, noticing a woman, not on the bus:
"Oh my GAWD! Look at those CANS!" (Scribbles on paper. Crumples it up. Throws it out bus window. Yells at woman with said CANS:) "Call me!"


Man, talking to woman, whom he appears to not know:
"Woooooooooo-EEEEEEE!  For you, I'd get two jobs. AND a paper route. Then I'd come home. Give you my seed."


Woman to Man-She's-With:
"You're just hidin' that money so you can buy some weed aren't you?"
"You shut up."
...(only he didn't say it that nicely.)


Crazy man talking to himself:
(Kasey knew this because he wanted to believe he was on a Bluetooth*.  Nope. The man turned his head from side-to-side. No Bluetooth.)
"D-! That is one m-f-'n punk-a Spruce!"
...(As you can imagine, I am trying really hard to call Kasey "Spruce" from now on.)

*And then I said what I considered to be very funny:
"It was the world's tiniest Bluetooth...called Schizophrenia."

Kasey being Kasey...somewhere in Peru.

But Come On. Truthfully:  Can't we honestly say that the invention of the Bluetooth has given crazy people ten more seconds of "are-they-or-aren't-they" leeway that just wasn't there before?


Anonymous said...

buses are where the crazies come together.
you should ride MARTA if you haven't already

A Lady Reveals Nothing said...

Gotta love public transportation.

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