Insert electric appliance into bucket of water. Do NOT touch the water, or, in the words of one guesthouse employee, you'll do the "dance of a funky lady". Wait 15 minutes.
Nakedly haul heavy bucket of scalding hot water into "shower area". Don't spill. Crouch down over drain. Low. Use littler scooper bucket to pour scalding hot water on your body.
Soap up. Save time here by only soaping up important bits. (Armpit, armpit, front butt, butt, feet.)
Rinse with scalding hot water. Put head between knees. Get hair wet.
Shampoo. Condition. Rinse. Rinse whole body again. Finish with half a bucket of water remaining. Marvel at how little water it actually takes to clean yourself. And how little time. Luxuriously and slowly pour remaining water all over body like a fancy clean American lady.