Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Bucket Shower

Step one:
Insert electric appliance into bucket of water. Do NOT touch the water, or, in the words of one guesthouse employee, you'll do the "dance of a funky lady". Wait 15 minutes.
Step two:
Nakedly haul heavy bucket of scalding hot water into "shower area". Don't spill. Crouch down over drain. Low. Use littler scooper bucket to pour scalding hot water on your body.
Step three:
Soap up. Save time here by only soaping up important bits. (Armpit, armpit, front butt, butt, feet.)
Step four:
Rinse with scalding hot water. Put head between knees. Get hair wet.
Step five:
Shampoo. Condition. Rinse. Rinse whole body again. Finish with half a bucket of water remaining. Marvel at how little water it actually takes to clean yourself. And how little time. Luxuriously and slowly pour remaining water all over body like a fancy clean American lady.


Chris said...

This reminds me of taking a sauna (pronounced sow-na)up in the U.P. of Michigan. My uncle was Finnish and so they had a sauna in the shed out back. With no running water. However, it was actually very easy since you had a whole tank of hot water (curtesy of the wood stove) and also a bucket of cold water to mix to the idea temp. And a sauce pan for application. Easy Peezy. Took one in October.

Mom said...

And so, what is that "tool" in the corner used for?

A Lady Reveals Nothing said...

Front butt scrubber.

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