Monday, August 20, 2012

Say Goodbye to my Freckle-Stache!

You may remember I have a slight dermatalogical issue on my upper lip that I affectionately call my "freckle-stache". Scientifically, I believe it's called "hyperpigmentation" or "excess production of melanin" caused by "sun damage". Basically my upper lip is the one place on my entire body where I have successfully been able to get a tan.

Here's me after four months of continued sun exposure (albeit under a sun hat and with 70+ SPF on every inch of my body) in Central America. Freckle-stache in full force:



And here's me after four months of continued 75 hour work weeks in a Minnesota mortgage company office with no natural sunlight (albeit covered up with a large amount of Bare Esscentuals Bare Minerals powder). Freckle-stache in full force:




Well.  Today I read on NPR that the Chinese have come up with a very handy solution to my problem. It's called the "Face-kini" and it's all the rage on the beaches of China. You can buy one for $4.00 or make one yourself with old clothes. Check it out:





Click here to read the full story.

Another thing you'll learn from the article is that the Chinese like indoor pools better because they don't want to get a tan. That would make you seem poor like a common worker. But the pools are overcrowded and unsanitary and test very high for UREA, which you may recall is the chemical in URINE, which we usually call PEE here in America.



9 comments:

Davin said...

Why did I click on the last link? '3,158 swimmers critically poisoned when they swallowed the pool's water which was laced with urine and fecal matter of 47,000 swimmers. A toxicology report of the water found that urine and fecal matter made up 90% of the mix.'
I just threw up in my mouth.

Chris said...

I must say I never really noticed the tan thing and I bet bank robberies are going to sky rocket in China now.

Sailing into the Desert.... said...

I really thought you were going to give me a solution to the freckle-stache. Mine is currently surrounding my entire mouth....so it's less of a 'stache and more of a freckle 'goatee'. SEXY.

Anonymous said...

Notice there's no P in my ool
ool is chinese for Pool of Urine actually so, i dunno where i am going with this whatsoever

Kim said...

If someone was drowning, how would anyone ever know? Which might be why they all have inner tubes. But then what if someone's inner tube flipped or they fell off? They'd be trapped underneath with no way to get back up.

A Lady Reveals Nothing said...

So many questions...

Mom said...

If anyone fell under and was drowning, the only way out would be thru all the legs...in other words thru the actual sources of whence the urine comes.DOUBLE EWWWWW

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

I have a freckle-stache too, which makes for beautiful photos with my boyfriend where he's freshly shaved and I look like I just came from my 12 hour job at the construction site. Because I look hair and dirty, you see.

I'm about *this* close to taking industrial grade sandpaper to my face. I'll let you know how it goes.

THE-LOUDMOUTH said...

OMG, way too many people in that last photo! Haha, how are they okay with that? Maybe it's what they're used to. And I like your freckle-stach :)

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