Friday, November 11, 2011

Misery Loves Company (slash) Imitate the Statue, Vol. 3

You may recall that about a year ago I met my Annie Wilkes.  My number one fan, just like from the movie Misery.  Well, the one, the only, the fabulous Blog fan Lisa* (names have not been changed) lives in Tucson, Arizona!

So when I heard that I would be working there for a water meter assignment, I contacted Lisa, who helped Summer and I secure the house we're renting.  We arranged everything days before arriving, so we needed somebody in Tucson to receive the Fed-ex package with the keys, etc., and Lisa was our girl!

We were driving from Albuquerque, Summer had a paper due and we were late getting into town, so we didn't have any time to waste picking up the keys.  Lisa understood and offered to meet us on the side of the freeway.

If I hadn't already met and fallen in love with her, if she weren't a friend of a very good friend of my sister' might have been a very strange and scary scene:

  • Blog stalker offers to help find housing
  • Blog stalker offers to receive keys to new apartment
  • Blog stalker in fact receives and has possession of keys to new apartment
  • Blog stalker offers to meet late at night on the side of the road next to a highway
  • Blog stalker distracts Blogger with praise for blog
  • Blog stalker stabs Blogger 37 times in chest and abdomen
  • Blog stalker leaves Blogger to bleed out on side of highway
  • Blog goes unupdated from that point on, leaving tens of other fans disappointed and confused     

But that's not how it went.  We met, we hugged, we laughed, we got Summer involved, we got the keys...and settled in to Oro Valley.

A few days later Lisa hooked us up with her good friend Roxanne* (names have not been changed) who graciously brought us to the Seguaro (pronounced Seh-wah-roh) National Monument just minutes from our town.

Those are saguaros.  There are millions of them in this National Forest.  Millions.  

Roxanne is hilarious.  She has a story of how she had told her husband that the reason she was putting on her nice underwear/bra combo was because she was going to the dermatologist.  He was confused, because it was for an above-the-neck skin appointment.  "And you have to undress for that?"  "Yes," she said, "he has me completely undress and lay on the table and then he looks at the skin on my face.  What?  Is that weird?"

This is the only photo I have of her, as she prefers to be photographed from behind:

I knew I loved her when she told me that she also likes to pretend to use a tampon for chapstick....but I really, really, really love people who participate when I have a ridiculous photo idea.


Anonymous said...

Can't believe Roxy's butt made the blog! Great first impression on the thousands (not tens) of followers Roxy! Of course.. I'm the stalker with the knife who could have killed kady and left her for dead on the side of the highway. But then your butt would not have made the blog. Your welcome.

Anonymous said...

This is my first comment on your blog ever...but, I must say, not in a small way, What. A. Classy. Butt! Although, in the second picture, her posture does give me cause for concern..does she have a permanent sway in her back like an old ridden horse?

Anonymous said...

Would like to have "butt girl" call me. :)

DB Stewart said...

Whoa. In the entire history of blogging, I would bet 1.1 million pennies that there have never been another post even remotely similar to this one.

Anonymous said...

Aloha from Hawaii, we Skype with a Roxie in Tucson I'm sure it's the same one ,the old nag is sure getting sway backed.We get to see the top half. Its just as nice.HA HA Anonymous, I have her #and Skype # too.I will admit she is a great friend. we will remain anonymous for now ,because we have never posted. Roxie and you are welcome to visit we have toilet paper.

A Lady Reveals Nothing said...

I love all the responses to this post.

Jude Acers said...

I thought I was your Annie Wilkes???

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