If you're a long-time fan, you can laugh again, and if you're new -- well, here's an old story. Catch up!
I'm choosing this first one because Anne of Life is good... mentioned that she re-read this one and laughed so hard it made her cry. Well Anne, laugh and
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 30, 2009
|Why is it that Brian and I look like distant relatives? Wine.|
I saw Brian Hartman tonight at my work going away party. He is my friend Tammy's husband, and I used to work with him about 12 years ago. One time we were playing "Best Ball" golf at a Bank of America work function, which means that everybody plays, but you just advance to the furthest ball hit and go from there. Of course my ball was never the 'best', and so we always had to pick up my ball on the way to the best one. Since we were in a golf cart, Brian convinced me that in the interest of saving time he would drive next to the ball and I could lean out of the cart and grab it. So I complied. I grabbed onto the rollbar with my left hand, crouched down low, and prepped myself to grab the ball with my right hand. Brian must have counted on all of this, because just as I had my hand all the way to the ground, ready to impress him with my on-the-go golf ball grabbing skills, he YANKED the steering wheel to the left and I went a-tumblin'.
'Ha Ha Kady, the joke's on you', he must have thought, but as he looked over his shoulder to see his horrible trick come to fruition, he noticed that I looked as if I was going to pull out of it. I somehow landed on my feet, and tried to run as fast as humanly possible to stay upright. When he tells the story, he explained at that moment that he was actually rooting for me, and for a while it looked like I would just run right out of the situation. But of course, the inertia of having been so rudely tossed out of a golf cart caught up to me and I took a tumbler. A 'header' as he describes. And he laughed and laughed.
I agreed that it would have been funny, if it hadn't been me.
Tonight I reminded him of this story and we laughed again. And then, as he left, he said, "Well, see ya, have fun on your trip, blog me or something."
That same day, (on the golf course) I had to go to the bathroom really really really bad. There were no port-a-potties anywhere near, so I made an executive decision to go in the woods. I had it in my head that if I could just find a fallen tree, I could sit on it, like a toilet and go to the bathroom that way. So, I found a fallen tree. I didn't realize until I sat on it that it was actually more like a twig than a tree, and of course it snapped right out from under my naked butt. Unfortunately this fallen "tree" was chosen also because of it's choice location on a downward slope. My logic was that the pee would run downhill, backwards away from me. Anyway, when I fell, I fell backwards. And continued falling backwards, in a sommersaulting motion, all the way down the hill. Peeing all the way.