New to A Lady Reveals Nothing? You've missed SO MUCH. Not to worry. Every Sunday, I dig through the archives to repost an old favorite. Mostly because I'm too lazy to come up with new content every single day. This story originally appeared on March 7, 2011:
I've been out of the country for the better part of a year, so maybe my view on this matter is skewed. Has this weird phenomena caught on in the United States? Are they replacing all liquid soap in public restrooms with either foam or mist spray? I'm just going to come right out and say that I hate spray soap. Is this a new thing? I push the button and if anything comes out it's a mist. What happened to the gelatinous soap of my childhood? The kind that makes a nice soapy lather that gives the illusion of cleanliness after a dirty bathroom experience and perhaps a day filled with dirty, germ-filled experiences?
And that leads to my next question. Mom, when did they invent liquid soap? Shortly after they invented color, perhaps? I don't remember life without it. I do remember thinking that bars of soap were disgusting in public bathrooms, and sharing that belief and a friend telling me the most poignant words I have ever heard:
"Soap is always clean."
In other words, rub it a little and get it movin', and you got yourself some perfectly good soap. I don't know the science here, but I have run with that for the last 18 years. These are just my opinions, folks. I would love to hear yours in the comments section.
And while we're on the subject of public restrooms, for your reading pleasure, a list! My list of preferences in a public bathroom: (in order of priority)
1. Toilet Paper
2. Lockable lock
4. Liquid Soap
5. And if not liquid soap, Bar Soap
6. And if not bar soap, Spray Mist Invisible Fake Soap
7. And if not spray mist invisible fake soap, Hand Sanitizer. But I hate Hand Sanitizer.
8. Flush Capability
9. And if so, Foot-kick ready flush
10. Privacy from lookie-loos
11. Privacy from heary-loos
12. A way to mask scent if necessary
13. Dry floor
14. No hair anywhere
15. A nice picture on the wall
16. Seat is firmly secured to the toilet
17. Proper inner-workings of toilet, illiminating the need for frantic basic plumbing
18. Towel to dry hands on
19. Exit door that pushes outward, not pulls inward for hands-free purposes
20. Sanitary napkin dispenser, preferably at the low low rate of 10 cents
21. Garbage can in stall
22. Helpful signs*
23. Toilet seat liner (but you're only going to find this in California and/or the Minneapolis airport.)
24. Good lighting in mirror for zit pinching
25. Mirrors at angle for weight loss illusion
26. A planter with bamboo of some sort
27. Stones in bottom of sink
28. New age and/or relaxing music playing
29. Basket of mints
30. Hand lotion
31. Hairspray available
32. Individual non-disposable towels
33. A woman to hand you individual non-disposable towel
34. Heated toilet seats*
35. Princess sound maker*
*Added to list since visiting Japan, the heavenly headquarters of the world's best bathrooms.