Summer and I went to Wal-mart to pick up some necessaries. When we parked the car, a man pushed his empty grocery cart at me and said, "you'll need this. There aren't any carts in there." I was so touched by the kind gesture I didn't have time to realize he was totally scamming me so that he wouldn't have to put his cart away. I made a mental note to use that one in the future. Well played, my man, well played.
After we went inside, the first order of business was to go pee, because I was dying. I was dying so bad I didn't have time to do the usual 'line-the-seat-with-toilet-paper' thing I do when I'm in a public restroom in America. So I decided to squat like I do when I'm in, say, any other country. But I had to go so so so bad! And I guess somewhere mid-pee my stream went rogue and I totally peed all down my leg and onto the floor. Yes I wiped it all up, and Summer goes, "what are you doing on the floor?" "Taking a nap", I replied.
When I emerged from the stall, I showed Summer what happened and she goes, "FAIL."
And then she said, "I would rather sit on a public restroom toilet than have pee on my jeans." I whole-heartedly DISAGREE. Yes it was embarrassing to walk around Wal-mart with pee on my jeans, and of course, a little gross. But, it was my pee. You should have SEEN that toilet seat! EW!!
|That's pee on my jeans. I think I can still wear them a couple more times, no?|