Thursday, September 8, 2011

Kady at Wal-mart / What's that on Your Jeans?

Summer and I went to Wal-mart to pick up some necessaries.  When we parked the car, a man pushed his empty grocery cart at me and said, "you'll need this.  There aren't any carts in there."  I was so touched by the kind gesture I didn't have time to realize he was totally scamming me so that he wouldn't have to put his cart away.  I made a mental note to use that one in the future.  Well played, my man, well played.

After we went inside, the first order of business was to go pee, because I was dying.  I was dying so bad I didn't have time to do the usual 'line-the-seat-with-toilet-paper' thing I do when I'm in a public restroom in America.  So I decided to squat like I do when I'm in, say, any other country.  But I had to go so so so bad!  And I guess somewhere mid-pee my stream went rogue and I totally peed all down my leg and onto the floor.  Yes I wiped it all up, and Summer goes, "what are you doing on the floor?"  "Taking a nap", I replied.

When I emerged from the stall, I showed Summer what happened and she goes, "FAIL."

And then she said, "I would rather sit on a public restroom toilet than have pee on my jeans."  I whole-heartedly DISAGREE.  Yes it was embarrassing to walk around Wal-mart with pee on my jeans, and of course, a little gross.  But, it was my pee.  You should have SEEN that toilet seat!  EW!!


That's pee on my jeans.  I think I can still wear them a couple more times, no?




7 comments:

Anonymous said...

thats nothing, i pee that much on myself all the time

dbs said...

"Rogue pee" = hilarious.
(It also sounds like something Sarah Palin wrote.)

Flaggy said...

I'm sad for myself that the pee didn't bother me so much as the tucked-and-rolled jeans. But, I guess, when in Rome (Walmart)...

Kady Hexum said...

Flaggy -- the tuck and roll is making a comeback. Just ask Katie Holmes three years ago. I'm a trendsetter!

Anonymous -- I'm sorry to disappoint. For me, it was a ton. I posted something similar as my status on Facebook and some ladies with children commented that they get that much just from sneezing.

dbs -- I'm still waiting for your postcard request...You're not going to get that kind of offer from Sarah Palin.

Anonymous said...

Kady!

That was awesome! Still laughing..rogue pee. You crack me up. Thanks for sharing. Love the fact that #1 - you actually tell the tales and #2 - you took a picture! I will never use a Walmart bathroom again without thinking of you!
PS - "Taking a nap" - priceless!

Anonymous said...

Oopss..last post was from your friend in Bemidji. :)

A Lady Reveals Nothing said...

Thanks, A.

I'm here for you.

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