Night number 3 in the treehouse

Yah. I gave up.

The two French girls (Cecile and Emmanuelle Van Lith) let me stay in their treehouse with them. I. LOVE. THEM. They were very nice and sweet. Cecile did tell me that they really needed to sleep, which made me think that maybe they didn't think I would take them up on their offer? And maybe they were afraid I would cry like a baby the whole night? I had been complaining about being scared and not being able to sleep? Not sure.

Anyway, just as I suspected, I was not even the slightest bit scared at all. I even took a shower! Which was super necessary after the 104 degree day. They had four beds in their room and I was just really tired of trying to prove my brave-ness. Besides, hadn't I survived two nights of that hell? Didn't I already have the bragging rights?

Here are my knightesses in shining armoresses.


(Short girl sandwich.)

And here is the treehouse I stayed in with Cecile and Emma:


And here is the coolest treehouse in the place. There was a tree in the middle of it! Two of the Spanish ladies stayed there:



This place wasn't so bad :)

In the daylight even tolerable. And animals everywhere:



If I didn't have a crippling fear of the dark, I would say my experience was entirely enjoyable. Here is a picture of the Swedish couple: (Toby and Stina) They're doctors!



And here is Toby, the guide:



Notice how fresh and clean my hair is. Shower!

Hippos and crocs and babboons and storks

The Kruger was pretty dry while I was there, and hadn't had rain in some time. Here are some Storks and babboons:



The Swedish lady (Stina) and I were pointing at each other secretly and laughing, like give her the baby, Mr. Stork. Hilarious! Not really. It was hot out.

The lumps in the water here are hippos:



On day two of my safari, since we had already seen the 'big 5', the Spanish ladies and I asked if possibly we could see some other animals. Toby promised us he would show us some Hippos and Crocodiles, which was awesome. I also BEGGED to go to Mozambique. I'm sort of a sucker for stamps in my passport; the more the better. I had to renew mine last year, so I only have a couple stamps. I'm a collector. I don't judge your Precious Moments figurines.
Anyway, it turned out that it would be possible to go to Mozambique, but only if I had more time, because even though we were only 2 kilometers from Mozambique by the way the crow flies, we would have to drive 4 1/2 hours north to get to the nearest entrance point (border crossing).
So, no extra stamps. Though I do consider this a two-country trip, since I set foot in Senegal -- but didn't get a stamp there either :(.

Anyway, so this was all agreed upon (the hippos and crocodiles) the night of our first safari. So the next morning at breakfast I heard one of the guides pull Toby aside and they were chatting for a while and I started to get nervous because there was some discussion (that I was totally evesdropping on) regarding who was going in what truck. It turns out that a group of people from the other camp specifically requested Toby because he was a bird guide. So in one truck, he would have those four plus anybody else who wanted to go with him. Well, we had two girls from France, a Swedish couple, me, and the Spanish ladies. And so it was decided that the new four from the other camp go with Toby and also the two French girls. The Swedish couple and the four Spanish ladies would go with the other guide. Leaving me to decide what to do. I wanted to see Crocs and Hippos, but I also wanted to go with Toby, cuz he's a super-awesome-animal-lover-photographer-guide (and has this blog address haha).

Talk about Sophie's choice!

In the end I decided to stay with the Spanish ladies. I didn't really want to spend the day seeking the Big 5 again. So we get in the truck. I was a little put out because the day before there were only 5 of us in the truck and on day two, we had 7. And then the manager of the whole place gets in, putting us at 8. So every seat is full. I remember having that feeling where your whole day will be ruined if all elements of the groupings of people don't fall in your favor. It ended up being just fine of course and it was nice to have the manager of the place along, because he could explain things.

And, I decided against wearing my light pants, deciding instead to wear my new zip off pants that are made of heavy canvas. Plus they are one size too small and so they ride up like nobody's business. Of course, it reached 104 degrees that day. Hot and sweaty and a little crowd-y in the truck.

So day two of the safari was really super awesome. We saw four of the Big 5. Lions, (11 of them! 7 babies and 4 mommas!) elephants, cape buffalo and a rhinocerous.



It's hard to see the little babies, but if you click on the photo to enlarge it, you can see them laying in a row. I think one in the front is actually pooping in this photo. How perfect.

After we saw the hippos and babboons and crocodiles, we were driving down the road and pretty soon we saw a hyena. Our guide said that it's really rare to see a hyena in the day time; they normally run around at night yelping and scaring blonde American women in their treehouses. It was lazily walking along, but with a mission. Ahead in the distance we saw vultures circling. We got pretty excited, because usually that means there was a kill and of course the hyena was probably on his way to eat something. We drove along, following the hyena, and pretty soon we stopped. I looked out my side of the truck, and there was another hyena! It came from out of nowhere. And then another and another and another. We stopped on top of a culvert and they were all in there. We saw 9 hyenas! One just looked at me and stared. They are so ugly, by the way.



So eventually we figured out what all the fuss was about:



A dead elephant. Probably died of old age. Probably covered in vulture crap. Enlarge it.

(Sorry - a lot of my photos were taken from far away.)

Then, like as a creme de la creme, we saw a bunch of animals all at the watering hole. My pictures are kind of crap, but there were rhinocerous, cape buffalo, elephant, giraffe, wildebeast and all kinds of deer. The manager guy said there were 9 species at the watering hole. See if you can see some of them in these photos, but you'll have to enlarge them:

Miles, I will give you a dollar (I think I already owe you $6.75) if you can find a rhinocerous.

Big 5

I should mention that after two years of studying Spanish, (albeit several years ago) it took me a while to come up with "Grande Cinco", which is kindergarten Spanish for "Big 5". Once I came up with it, I was embarrassed that it took me so long. Conjugating it and stuff took me a while. Even right now, I'm not sure that Grande Cinco is correct verbiage for Big 5. But, the 4 Spanish ladies and I were so excited to have seen the Big 5, that I started chanting it in the truck. They started chanting too, and I felt I made a strong connection.

And then I said something like, "Banco Hipoteca" and pointed at my chest. It means Mortgage Bank.

Night number 2 in the treehouse

So I did not have the luxury of alcohol on the 2nd night. We were in Kruger from 8am to 8pm, and I only had time for dinner and like two beers. So I had to stay in my hut again. Alone. I was the only alone person in the camp. It was really hard, because even though sometimes I live alone, I really prefer to have a roommate. I get so so so so scared of the dark. I slept with my sister Kasey until I graduated high school for crying out loud. I'm just not an alone person. Too social and too fradey cat I guess.

Anyway, so on night number two Toby the manager of the place offered to drive me to my room and I took him up on it. When we got there he checked for snakes and stuff everywhere and he found a frog on my window and I about jumped through the roof. He asked if I wanted him to move it and I said yes, and then I saw a gecko on the wall. I freaked out. He said that I would want that one because they eat spiders, so I agreed to let the gecko stay. So then Toby left and as soon as I shut the door I started bawling. Like not out loud, but the tears came and then the snot and pretty soon I was hyperventilating. And then I realized that I am 31 years old and this type of behavior is ridiculous. I pulled myself together and went into the bathroom to go pee. I was kind of embarrassed though because I think Toby hung around for a few minutes to make sure I was OK, and I turned the light on when I went pee and as I said there are inches wide holes between every piece of bamboo on the outside walls and I was scared of stuff in the toilet (even though Toby checked in there) so naturally I stood up to pee. I'm pretty sure Toby might have gotten to see the full moon that night if you know what I mean.

People: I wasn't even scared of animals, right? I was scared of monsters. So you can see how irrational it is. I didn't imagine that a cape buffalo might be outside my room (which is absolutely possible:)


No, instead I was imagining that Gollum from Lord of the Rings was outside my room. And so of course it was hard to sleep. But here's what I wrote in my journal:

"I'm pretty freaked out right now. I just wish I wasn't alone. I would be completely fine if someone else were here. Right now I can hear crickets and frogs croaking. No big deal right? Well...'something' is walking around out there. I CAN'T believe I'm doing this. I will wear ear plugs tonight. What the? I'm really in Africa and I'm really sleeping alone in a bamboo shack under a mosquito net."

But then as I said, I also wrote:

"This was one of the best days of my life."

I saw 4 baby lion cubs. I saw an elephant take a bath. I saw zebras cuddling with each other. I saw two lady elephants fighting with each other. I saw lions licking themselves like a common house cat. I watched the most beautiful sunset of my life.




Oh, and p.s. Toby said he heard me crying. He did not, however admit to seeing me pee. And I didn't ask.

Safari

And so we spent the first day of safari driving around looking for the Big 5. In Africa, the Big 5 is a big deal:

Cape Buffalo
Rhinocerous
Elephant
Lion
Leopard

There is some debate as to why those five animals are the 'Big 5'. I heard all kinds of theories, but the one that made the most sense to me is that those five are the hardest to hunt. So it's really a hunting term. But on safari, everybody wants to see the Big 5. "Did you see the Big 5?" And you feel cool if you can say yes. So, the first day we saw the Big 5. (Actually I saw the Rhino the night before...and then saw the other four the next day.)

But I probably saw a million elephants. No small feat because there are about 16,000 in Kruger. I also saw tons of giraffes, zebras, wildebeast, kudu, babboon, waterbuck, antelope, vultures, etc.

You're very lucky if you see the leopard. It's pretty elusive and hard to see, but I saw one! If you click on this photo and enlarge it you can kind of see him on the branch. After I took this photo, he stood up, stretched, and walked down the tree. We saw his tail for a while and then he disappeared. Or maybe it was a she. Not sure.



So the people in that top photo were the four ladies from Spain. They are all friends, and they travel together all the time. They have been to China, Argentina, Romania and now Africa together. Isabelle, Carmen, Rosa, and Angeles. Only Carmen spoke in English so I got a chance to practice Spanish. But I couldn't remember ANYTHING. It was so frustrating. I really wish I had kept up with Spanish, because you never know when you're going to need it. (Africa of all places.) But I spent three days with those girls and I really liked them.

Lions!

Check this out. We just happened upon these lions and they were totally laying around. Like house cats! They were so lazy. And we were up so close to them.



Who's pretty? Who's a pretty girl on safari?

Dear Ben Hanson, You're funny.

Thanks for the laugh.

(Click on the photo to enlarge).

Giraffes

They can run 48 km per hour! I don't know what that means!
But I was astounded to find out that they have the same number of vertebrae as humans do. They live for about 28 years. They eat trees that have thorns to help their digestion. And they always eat with the direction of the wind. I don't know what that means!
Their color has nothing to do with age or gender. Just family genes.

Kruger

So now, I get to go to Kruger! I was hoping it wasn't a stupid zoo...Well, it wasn't. Completely wild, completely Africa.  We drove there at about 8am. Immediately upon entering the park, we saw a huge herd of elephants! And then giraffe after giraffe after herd of zebra after pride of lions. I wrote in my journal:

"This was one of the best days of my life."

Here's what I look like on Safari:

The hat was on loan from Mineska. I had to wear it because it said MINNESOTA.

Elephants

A group of female elephants (or cows) is called a breeding herd. The babies stay with them and they walk around in a huge bunch together. The males stay far away and live alone. They only come around when a cow is in heat. Elephants live until 60 years old. They have six sets of teeth in their lifetime, and once the sixth set falls out, they stop eating, they just drink water and then they die.
They don't really have any enemies. Lions would really have to work hard to kill an elephant. So they usually just die of old age.

They eat about 300 - 600 pounds per day, for 18 hours per day. And they have a very poor digestive system, so their bodies only use 40% of the food. So they basically crap up to 360 pounds per day.

I'm telling you there was poop all over Kruger. Everywhere you look. Poop.

Marc's Treehouse Lodge

So FINALLY we arrive. To a HUGE gate. And a little man who talks to our bus driver in his language and they shoot the breeze for a while...by this time I am ready to rip his heart from his chest and make him watch it beat until he dies. Slowly the gate opens...I should mention that I haven't eaten all day. When I don't eat, I get really really really crabby. And then the above sign welcomes us. If you can't read it, click on the picture to enlarge it. It says something like be careful there are big animals in this gate that will eat you. I'm like, why is there a gate? To keep the animals IN? SHEESH.

We start off down the 1km long driveway that brings us to the lodge and suddenly, there in the road, are two HUGE rhinocerous. Right in our way. Wanda (the dude driving us who likes song number 6 and song number 8 alot) screams, "Photo! Photo!" Which he did the whole time we were being bored by deer. So, naturally I ignore him and continue to be irritated at the whole situation. Then he's like, "PLEASE! This is BIG 5! Photo! Photo!" So I slowly reached for my camera and then the rhinos were gone. And I didn't even care. Later on I realized what a mistake that was. We did see one more rhino later but it was far far away. These were HUGE right in the way and not 50 feet from the truck. OH WELL.

So then we pulled up to the lodge and I casually mentioned that we JUST saw two rhinos on the path and about 20 people including the two welcomers went running to the trucks and tried to go and find them too. So I realized that I should have been more excited to see the rhinos but whatevs. APATHETIC.

So THEN I get assigned my room. I get lodge number 9. I see that there's beer in a fridge. I bought one, and then another because I figured this would make me feel better. A bunch of people were sitting around a fire and I went down to join them and wait for my dinner. By now it is probably getting close to 9pm. HUNGRY.

Around the fire I met six guys from Ireland, on day 6 of their 1 year trip around the world. I was instantly insanely jealous. Their plan is to spend 2 months in S.A., then fly to East Asia and spend a couple months in Cambodia, Thailand, Vietnam, etc and then spend 5 months in Australia/New Zealand, and then head to the States for a month or two and then go back home to Ireland. I think they were all about 20 or 21 years old. JEALOUS.

Also there were five dudes from Australia, 2 couples from Holland (there separately), 3 from S.A., me, and the four ladies from Spain. The Irish dudes were challenging themselves to ring the HUGE fire twice with beer bottles. They were about half way around when I got there. So I started helping them. We all stayed up and drank until about 2am. Now. During the evening, I found out that my lodge number 9 is the furthest down the trail. It is all by itself, about a 10 minute walk from the fire. And I find out from Garry, the Irishman that they have had lots of "creepy-crawleys" in their room. Each morning, monkeys have broken into their room and even stole their toilet paper. One of the managers warned me about snakes, scorpions, and spiders. So, as the evening wears on, and as I become more and more terrified, I decide on Garry. He's the Irishman that has befriended me, and he seems harmless, and I am getting more and more desperate. I will beg him to stay in my room so that I will not be eaten by a tarantula in the middle of the night. And then they passed around Sambuca. And then Vodka lemonade. And then I was told about the bush babies. They're cute, but they'll steal your stuff and they scratch all night in the thatch of your roof. And then before I knew it, the fire was lined twice with beer bottles. And then I hear about how the monkeys go crazy over anything they think is food, including toothpaste or medicine. Well I have granola bars in my backpack and toothpaste. At this point I am freaking out. But, at 1am I decided it was time to go to bed. And Garry agreed to walk me to my hut. SAFE.

Here it is in the light:

Now, this doesn't look too bad, you might say. But, you need to know that you could see through the walls. So, there were big enough spaces for any kind of animal to get through. Inside there is a bed with mosquito netting (malaria is a slight risk.) On the bed is a huge bug of some sort and Garry moves it outside using some toilet paper. There is a shower and toilet in the bathroom, which has even larger holes to see through and animals to crawl through. Garry checks for snakes and stuff in the shower and there is none. He helps me tuck the mosquito netting around the bed. But, he won't stay in my room. Sorry. So now I'm all alone. But I'm pretty relaxed, what with all the alcohol and so I get in bed, and all my stuff is on the bed in the mosquito netting with me. I convince myself that my mosquito net is bullet proof. But, I am still scared out of my wits. I wanted to show my fear and so I took a photo of myself:

But that doesn't really look scary enough, it basically just looks ugly, and so I used the "Blair Witch Project" setting on my camera to get these:

I think that pretty much captures it.

So basically I fell asleep on my back with my arms clutching the blankets on top of me. I woke up the next morning in exactly the same position. And my arms were sore, so I was basically death gripping the blankets all night long.

Now, if I hadn't been so scared, I would have reached my arm out about 6 inches to my backpack, where I have my Xanex and my ear plugs. But I was too scared, and so I suffered.

In the middle of the night I was awakened by a shrieking noise. I found out the next morning that was a jackal. And I also heard a crying noise and that was a hyena. And rustling. Always rustling outside my hut.

I had no clock and no way of telling what time it was and I had to be at breakfast by 7am. So I didn't sleep very well. Also I kept imagining the worst things. I also dreamed that Toby, the guide, was crawling on one of those circular motorcycle things you see at old time circuses and it was all around my room. He would just go "psst. Kady. It's me." as he crawled by and then an animal would follow him. Then I dreamed that three giraffes walked right by me.

So I got up at about 7:30 and headed to breakfast. But first I had to use the bathroom and right outside there was a buck grazing in the grass. I know this because I could see him through the holes in the wall. Hectic!

And then...

(as if this were suspenseful...)

So of course by the time we got to our lodge I was SO crabby. I was having a hard time not venting my frustration at the German elbow-y lady next to me. And to make matters worse, she would STALL at potty breaks and take FOREVER to get out of the bus. Inside my brain I was screaming, "GET OFF THE BUS! GET OFF THE BUS!" But outside, smiles.

Passive agression.

So we get to the lodge, and we were really late because we hit a traffic jam, so we were ushered quickly to our rooms. I thought mine was supposed to be a treehouse. But it was a very nice concrete room. So stupidly, I say, "Isn't this supposed to be a treehouse?" And she goes, "oh, yah, you're in the Treehouse Lodge". And then I bring my backpack back out to the bus...but we were supposed to get a night time game drive and so we were rushed into the trucks and started driving. The driver had a spotlight. I recognized this activity as something we used to do with my dad as kids. It's called "shining", whereby you drive around at night, throwing light into the woods, hoping to find animals. It's illegal. But in Africa, totally fine. However, I was SO crabby and couldn't really get into it. And there were electric fences everywhere, and so I really figured I had just spent from 4:30am to 8:00pm travelling in uncomfortable circumstances to basically drive around a zoo and look at bored animals. Which made me even crabbier.

And all we saw was a bunch of antelope, kudu (huge deer), and some zebras. BORING. I was just irritated as all get out. We got back to the lodge and they had dinner ready and fire going but because I couldn't keep my big mouth shut, it was back onto the bus for me and over to the Treehouse Lodge, which was another 40 MINUTES AWAY. By this time, the 4 Spanish ladies had had enough of the CD that the driver had on. He basically repeated the same two songs, number 6 and number 8 over and over and over and over again for the 12 hour bus ride. So the Spanish ladies figured, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. They started singing and clapping and snapping their fingers and the funniest thing is that the words were in Xhosa (remember click-osa) and they knew all of them. That's how many times this guy played the song. I was too crabby. I wouldn't play their reindeer game -- even though secretly I wanted to.

Getting up to Kruger, cont.

...And so I was told that there would be a man with a sign with my name on it at the Jo'burg airport to pick me up.

Well, I didn't have any bags to claim, so I thought I might have time to call my credit card. Apparently they thought my card was stolen or something, and the guy from the Treehouse place called me to tell me he was having trouble with it. So I called them and cleared it up. Well then I went to find the guy with my name on a sign and there was nobody. I was told to meet him at B3. So I went and asked where that was. It's outside. So I go stand outside by B3 for what seemed forever. Then I walk in and around and look...and then go back outside by B3. Nobody, no sign, no nothing. I start getting scared that I'm going to be stuck in Jo'burg alone, which as everyone has told me, you just don't want. Period. So I go back to B3, and there are a couple backpacker girls and I ask them if they are waiting for a guy named Trevor. No, they said, but they reminded me about Africa time. So I decided not to worry. But I had to go to the bathroom. The girls were from Jerusalem and were in between serving in the army and going to school. I trusted them and asked them to watch my stuff while I went to the bathroom and to please tell Trevor I was coming back if he ever showed up. Of course when I got out of the bathroom, there was my ride. I was glad that I talked to those girls, because I was told later that another dude wasn't there waiting for the ride and they left him. Which would suck because the treehouse and the safari area is about a 12 hour bus ride from the airport. I would have been screwed.

So I get on the bus and I have the whole back seat to myself. And then we picked up a girl from Japan. And then 4 more people from Germany. As it was there was already a British Guy, 2 people from Germany and 4 people from Spain, so in the end there was a full bus and because I'm stupid, I ended up in the very back row seat over the wheel well and spent the next 9 hours or so curled in a ball around my backpack, a wheel well and of course had a wide-y next to me with her elbows in my side. UGH.

I couldn't get my cash card to work at any ATM and started to worry. Finally at the last ATM machine before we got to our destination, I was able to pull out 500 rand, or about $60. This lasted me for the next four days miraculously. But all my meals except lunch were covered at the treehouse.

To be continued.

Anybody want to go to Dubai with me?

http://airfare.travelzoo.com/international-airfare/473656?ptl=done&rating=

I'm Home!!!!

Promise, promise, promise I will finish this trip journal with tons of photos, be patient. I'm SO tired.

And, Hanna, I do love you, just not very much.

correction to much earlier post

If I die, Depeche Mode doesn't get to be on my funeral CD, because the name of the band who sings "The Promise" is When in Rome.

Kruger continued

Well I just typed the longest entry EVER and this computer shut OFF.

I'm so annoyed right now. I'm giving up. I won't have a computer until I get home. Sorry guys I'll pick it up then. I'm so mad right now I could spit tacks!

The trip to Kruger

Cape Town is near the southernmost tip of Africa. Kruger is far to the east, near the border of Mozambique. Originally I was to fly from Cape Town to Jo'burg, and then fly from Jo'burg into Kruger, or closer to it. Well there were no flights into Kruger, and so I had to be picked up by a bus.

But first I have to tell you that I got onto a plane through it's butt. There was a stairway leading into the direct rear of the plane. That was a first.

Anyway, I had to be up very early, because the flight to Jo'burg left at 5:45 AM. The nice lady from Tobi (the little backpacker place where I use the internet) and her husband picked me up and dropped me at the airport. They got to the house at 5:15. But, I didn't have an alarm clock, and so I had to use my cell phone. But my cell phone is confused here and gets no service. When I had to turn it on to try to use the alarm, I realized that my phone thinks it's January 1, 2000, at 12:10pm. But really it was 11:30pm. So I had to calculate the times if I wanted the alarm to ring at 4:30am. So I set the alarm for 5:10pm. Aren't I so smart? I felt pretty smart anyway.

Well my body woke me up at 3am of course. And I stayed pretty much in and out of sleep between then and 5:15 when I had to be picked up. By the way, I saw Orion high in the sky at that time. I always like it when I see Orion because it means that fall is here and it's almost winter. You have to stay up pretty late at night at this time of year to see Orion, and because I live in the city it's hard to see the stars. But here, OH! the stars! They have completely different constellations in parts of the sky. Also I saw JUPITER! Who could imagine it? Anyway...I digress.

So I get to the airport, fly to Jo'burg, and go right past baggage claim because I am awesome and only carried on.

Well I was being picked up....

I will continue this story later. Going to dinner.

Llandudno Beach

Love this place.

The night before I left for Kruger we had a little party on the beach, with blankets and wine and cheese and the sunset. There were surfers. There was a dude on a surfboard with a paddle, paddling all across the horizon with the sunset in the background.

What a perfect perfect night.

I did have to pee on the beach, which made it a little less perfect, but it was by the edge, on a rock, and Janine helped shield me from any onlookers.

I jumped in the water a little, it was pretty cold. The water on that side of the peninsula is cold (Atlantic Ocean) but the water on the other side is warm (Indian Ocean).

Oh, and earlier...I posted about the band Goldfish. Well the dude from Goldfish - I think Grant is his name? - anyway, he was on the beach, having wine with his girlfriend. That was pretty cool. We just sort of waved at him when he left to go home, but otherwise nobody really bothered him.

Comments

Doesn't anybody have any comments for me?

I'm dreaming of finding comments on my posts, but nothing. NOTHING!

Flying

Favorite things about flying:

1. The plane usually is going somewhere cool.
2. The pride you feel when all you have is a tiny backpack and everybody else has huge wheeled luggage.
3. Walking around the airport feeling independent and cool being a lone traveler.
4. Being able to cure myself of ear-popping by holding my nose and blowing out my ears.
5. Farting, but knowing nobody would ever blame it on cute lil' me.
6. Day dreaming about a crash where I am the hero, and I selflessly help everyone out of the plane. Sometimes I die, but sometimes I become the surrogate mother of the baby I saved who had no other family.



Least favorite things about flying:

1. All the farting that goes on. SHEESH! Maybe the atmospheric pressure change causes gaseous noxiousicity to happen...I don't know but planes always smell like poo.
2. Sitting next to wide people who don't have the good sense to put their arms in front of them, rather than in my seat; when I clearly am leaning waaaaay over to make room for their dumb arm.
3. Poor little babies who cry the whole way.
4. Having to pay for ginger ale :(
5. Waking up and noticing that I had my head leaned back and my mouth open.
6. Waking myself up with a snort.
7. Having to pee so bad and the stupid fasten seat belt sign is ON THE WHOLE TIME.
8. Sitting next to ladies who think their perfume smells so good that they need to bathe in it.
9. Finding wads of hair in your hand when all you wanted was to find the seat belt that fell below the seat.
10. Day dreaming about the crash, and worrying that everybody will push past me and I will get stuck and burn to death.

I saw the baddest arse hair cut

A dude on the plane from Cape Town to Jo'burg was wearing the most bad ass hair cut I have ever seen. And I apologize for swearing. There was just no other way to describe it.

Picture it if you will:

Red-headed dude.
5' 7" if he's lucky.
Mullet.
Top fashioned into a faux-hawk.
Stripes shaved into the sides.
Tattoo on his forearm read "UNCLE P".

I know by the description it sounds really gross, but I was oddly attracted to a guy who would wear such a 'do with such pride and confidence. This was one cool dude. I wish I had gotten a photo. Your imaginations will just have to carry you there.

Oh Lil' Black Skally Cap...

...I hardly knew ye.

I need to call for a moment of silence. That cutie hat I was wearing in the lone wolf picture met its maker in the wilds of the Kruger National Park. Alone and lonely, it now lies helpless on the bottom of an open safari truck.

I didn't know it very long, in fact I just met it in New York City back in January. But, it sure made me feel cute, and covered up many a greasy hair. Protected me from the sun, and covered the zits on my forehead. Please pour a little beer out tonight onto the ground in memory of my favorite hat.

Safe and Sound

I'm back in Cape Town, not a lot of time to write at the moment, but I have LOTS to tell.

So stay tuned and I'll put up some stuff later.

Benson

I have a friend who is a waiter at the cafe next to the internet place where I am right now.

His name is Benson and he is Rasta. From Johannesburg. Anyway, he's very chill (S.A. for laid-back) and I like him. Today he told me that politics put his father in the ground. He was of the wrong party I guess and they burned down his shopping center and killed him.

I am currently reading "What is the What" by Dave Eggers. Such a good book, but very sad, about the lost boys of the Sudan. Please pick it up. Kasey and Alason, I dont know who's pick it is for book club, but I insist on butting in with this one.





Anyway, I am so over politics and governments and I'm so glad to be away from the campaigns right now!!! It's pretty refreshing not to be bombarded with it, although S.A. has it's own problems. I just feel nice not currently having a country. A lone wolf, ha!

And here is the lone wolf now:

Cheetas

We saw the cheetas a few days ago, but I am finally getting around to uploading photos. Sadly, they are part of a rescue and so I don't imagine they get to do much running, but they were cute and purred just like housecats.

You could pet them, but I didn't feel like it. They were filthy.

I'm really here

This was supposed to look like me with my head on a stake, but I think it's sort of a cute picture of me in Africa.

I miss you

In a new scientific test...

I can confirm without question that the toilets here in fact do flush in a counter-clockwise motion.

This test was performed over a 7-day period.
A cross section of toilets across Cape Town and the surrounding area were used, without prejudice.
Not tested on animals.
In all test cases, counter-clockwise flushing was observed.

Underwear and Bra

Does anybody else think it's weird that my underwear and bras are hanging on a clothesline in the middle of South Africa next to the underwear and socks of the Schwartztrauber family, originally from Germany, but now living in Cape Town?

Life is kind of crazy sometimes.

British girl

I actually said the following sentence yesterday:

"I've just come 'round to fetch my tickets"




I can't help it!

I'm going on safari!

http://www.marcscamp.com/


I am flying to Johannesburg tomorrow to go on Safari. I can't even believe I'm typing this. It's kind of like one of those things that you think you'll never get to do, not in a million years. And here I am doing it. The only thing that sucks is that I have to go alone. I invited all of my new friends but everyone is busy during the week.
So I leave early Tuesday morning, and I come back on Friday night. I am going to stay in a treehouse. Yes that is correct. Please visit the website above because I can't figure out how to copy and paste the photo.

I have no idea if I will be able to get online at this treehouse (probably not) so I will be out of touch for the next four days.

Yesterday we went to the beach and layed in the sun. They are just starting their summer here so it is intermittently warm and then cold. So far it's been sweaters and jeans but yesterday it was bikinis and books on the beach. Also I got to ride in a really nice BMW car going very fast up the mountain yesterday. That was fun.

So today I'm just hanging out at Armin and Suzy Schwartztrauber's house. They are at work and I am on their computer. I have laundry in the machine and I'm nervously passing by the hugest spider I have ever seen in my 31 years. It is the size of your palm with legs included, and the body is like the size of a walnut. I'm so grossed out. All I can think of is how it would feel between my teeth if I bit it. And last night I couldn't sleep at all because that dumb spider was crawling all over me in my bed (in my head).
So -- I'm telling you nobody around here uses a dryer. Everybody hangs out their clothes. I'm so inspired to implement that at my house, but all I can get myself to do is like one load a couple times a month. But maybe if I just unplug the thing I will remember. I think it's just laziness. But imagine if everybody would just hang their clothes up to dry how much energy we could save! And it smells SO good.



But then I'm kind of scared that that spider will find her way into the crotch of a pair of my underwear hanging up to dry. yuck. I suppose they have spiders in treehouse lodges. What the heck am I doing?

I got to drive today!!!

I drove a car today!

Mineska let me drive her mom's car so we could drop off another car. It was super fun. I used two round abouts AS well. The steering wheel is on the wrong side, the shifter is on the wrong side, everything is on the wrong side. It's so fun!

Xhosa

There is another language spoken around here and it is called Xhosa. Or maybe this is the name of the people that speak it, I'm not sure. But I learned how to say 'hi. how are you' in Xhosa. It's:

MOLO! KUNJANE! and the Kunjane part is "KOON JAAAAAAAHHHHN AY" So it's fun to say. But the best part about Xhosa is that the Xh in Xhosa is said with a click. So you have to click your tongue to your teeth and then say 'osa' but all at the same time. I have been practicing this in most of my spare time.

Click -- osa.

Most of the people here either speak Xhosa or Afrikaans, but everybody speaks English. So it's easy for me.

In Afrikaans, you can say a fun swear word that is not a swear word at all. It's "vreck". But it is pronounced "FRECK." And you roll the 'r', so that it almost sounds like you're saying 'fud-eck.' Anyway it means damn or something very tame like that. But as you can see it sounds a lot like our 'f' word and so it seems much more dangerous in English. But safe to use in front of the littlest of old ladies.

Another weird dream

So I must think a lot of myself at work because last night I had a dream that I had to quick fly back to take care of some things and then I would come back to S.Africa. Anyway I was at the office and everybody was coming to me with questions and I got frustrated because I just really felt that I should be able to leave and have things go smoothly. And I considered just not going back to S. Africa so that I could clean up the mess that I left behind.

HAHAHAHA isn't it so hysterical that in my mind I am the glue that holds Advisors Mortgage together and without me they will just wither up and die?

I think everybody feels that way inside they just don't say it for the world to read?


p.s. I kept getting mad at myself in my dream because I was going to have to pay for another ticket because I was sure that I couldn't use the same ticket to make the trip twice.

LOL. This is cracking me up.

photos schmotos

I can't get photos up like I want.

No worries I'll keep trying.

I will learn to salsa before I ever leave the country again!

So I just had this epiphany:

Every single time I have left the country with the exception of my trip to China, I have been wrangled into some Salsa club. Last night it happened again.

I sort of know how to salsa, but as soon as the spinning and dipping and side to side stuff starts happening, I'm completely lost. Mineska and I had the most lovely day yesterday. We slept until noon, and then got up and went into Cape Town, where we shopped and went to the Green Market, which is a place for vendors to sell you stuff. p.s. if your name is on the following list, I have bought you a present:

Mom

Keri

Kim

Kelly

Kasey

Kady

Kady

Kady

Cory

And yes that means I have bought three things for myself. Alason, the pottery wasn't up to snuff so I will continue to search. Cory - your magnet has been purchased, however I have yet to find a real present for you. Gail, I will get you something fabulous this time, I swear.

Back to paragraph: So anyway we stopped to have lunch at this incredibly delicious pizza place where I had mushroom, artichoke and rocket pizza. Rocket is arugula by the way and it's used everywhere here. Anna, you simply must try it on pasta and pizza. Fabuloso! After that, we decided to do sundown (watch the sunset) in Camp's Bay and so we went to a restaurant on the waterfront and sat at the best table I have ever sat at in my entire life. It was on the second floor on a balcony just bigger than the table, and we sat facing the sunset and it slowly decended perfectly between two palm trees while waves fit for surfers crashed below. YUM.

I had a drink called the Back Porch Lemonade which is a twist on my standard Vodka lemonade. They added cranberry juice and ginger ale as well.

They say "as well" a lot here. But the emphasis is on the word AS. Like, "AS well".

Our waiters name was Kayo, pronounced like Mayo like Mayonaisse. I like that name and. Not to be confused with the cat at our house named Mayo, pronounced MY-OH.

The internet cafe is called Tobi's and they are also a tourism outfit and so I am going to try to book a safari through them. I may go to Jo'burg and to Kruger because it's just so much better for safari then the places closer to Cape Town.

Also I can do Abseiling, kloofing, whale watching, tons of stuff. Our time at the mansion is nearly over...tomorrow the homeowners come home from their trip up the orange river.

They have a daughter named Liesl. I am going to name one of my imaginary babies Liesl. I LOVE IT! I spend a lot of time naming imaginary babies.

OH yeah, I was talking about salsa.

So we met a nice couple (Thiry and Danny) and they joined us at our perfect table (it was too nice not to share and so we forced them to join us). We chatted with them and drank with them until 10pm and then we all agreed to go meet at a salsa joint.

At the salsa joint, Mineska and I danced first and she refreshed my memory a little on how to do it. But then a nice boy from India invited me to dance and I was so embarrassed because immediately he went into the spins and stuff. I was like "SORRY!" but he was patient and he tried to lead me but I just have such a hard time being led and our knees kept knocking. But he kept me out there for two songs. I think he really thought he could teach me something. He was sorely mistaken. Anyway, I think the key to salsa dancing is to relax and let the leader lead you.

New words:

I don't know if anybody has noticed, but I have taken on a little bit of a British / South African accent when I type. It's also in my head. But I am trying SO HARD not to let it show in my speech.

I want to talk with an accent so bad! But how rude would that be? The one thing is that Mineska works at The Health Path, and I allow myself to say Path like PAHTH. It sounds so posh.

I'm having some trouble with my keyboard, so I switched it out with another one, but it's not picking up all of the letters that I'm typing.

So, the new words are:

Keen. Are you "keen" to go to the movies on Friday?
Fancy. Do you "Fancy" a cup of coffee?


Mineska has been working, and so I have had some time to myself. I have been walking about a mile or so into town and then hitting the internet cafe. On Thursday, I needed to walk to The Health PAHTH after the cafe, and so I asked the woman how to get there. She gave me a map for God's sake. She drew the internet cafe and the Health PAHTH for me and drew a freakin' line between the two. There were two turns, and two roundabouts. Seems easy right? I got lost immediately. But then I ran into the pharmacy where Annette, Mineska's mom works and I asked her for directions. "Oh, it's easy, you go through here, and round here and over this and under that..." Again I'm lost immediately. I asked anoter woman at a video store and finally a fourth person at a gas station, and then figured out what to do. Is it just me, or do people in other countries simply NOT know how to give directions? Also, I am stupid, but that's beside the point.
It doesn't help that their towns are not built on a streets/avenues basis. They are all windy and circular and stuff.

Anyway, I've decided to write a book entitled, "How the Idiot Travels the World."
Or something like that.

p.s. for those of you who worry about me, I am staying in Hout Bay, which is essentially like staying in Minnetonka. So when I was lost for a half an hour, I was as safe as can be and I had Mineska's cell phone with me. HA!

Massage

I got a massage from a nice lady in her home. She was excellent. But, I realized that I must do something about these fat thighs. Why is it that every time I get a massage, I forget to unstick my thighs from eachother, and so the therapist has to unstick them for me? Mental note: unstick fat thighs from each other at all future massage therapy sessions.

Hectic!

Skoll!

This means cheers.
We been drinkin'.

Keri you have to make this

Thai Red Curry

Saute onions in olive oil -- fresh garlic optional
Add free range chicken breast, about a pound or so
paprika
masala (not sure if this spice is available there...)
1 can red curry sauce (the one we used had bamboo shoots and baby corn in it)
1 can coconut cream
butternut squash
sweet potato
dash cinnamon

Serve over quinoa or cous cous and add tons of fresh cilantro and green onions.


YUM!!!

Favorite new band/song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83zC575opm0



This is my new fave band. They're called Goldfish and they're a couple of dudes that make music.

Mom, I think you'll like their CD. I'll burn it for you.

This is a gemsbok

Pronounced "hamsbok" with a phlegmy 'h' at the beginning. Can you believe the beautiful back drop of mountains here?

Just a zebra, hangin out

So when you drive down the road, you might just see a zebra with a mountain in the background. The natural beauty of this place is driving me crazy. I can't even believe the insane and wonderful creation here.
Hectic!

Simon's Town

This was a tiny little boat in the bay at Simon's Town, near where we saw the whales. Uploading photos takes a million years, otherwise I would upload all of them...

Our mansion

This is our mansion:



And this is the view from it:

Strange

When you pull your car up to a store here, a little man comes up and nods at you and you nod back at him.
This is a little contract meaning he will look after your car while you are in the shops. When you come out and you're ready to leave, he comes up and you pay him. You can really pay whatever you want, usually just some change.
One time we were leaving and I didn't know about this arrangement and I got in the car and a man ran up to my door. Mineska sped off, and I freaked out. Well she figured she didn't have to pay this one because the nod didn't happen. He only showed up when we left and so she had no idea if he really watched the car. So she didn't pay.

New word

I learned a new word. It's "broody".
It means when somebody really really wants a baby. I realized we have no translatable word in American English for that feeling. We just say, "she really wants a baby". But the feeling when you might walk by a baby store and feel that you want a baby -- that's called Broody.

I came across the word because Mineska and I were walking by a baby store and she asked if I was broody.

I think the word I have used in the past is 'lactating'. Like if I was walking by that store with somebody, I would have said, "Are you lactating?" But that's kind of vulgar.

Bad Dream

I had a dream last night that two robbers came into the house. I had this dream because we had people over for dinner last night and one of the girls said that she had for the third time now received notice that robbers had gotten past her gate. Everything is gated here. Little pockets of neighborhoods will have a security guard and a gate all the way around. The gate will have an electric fence around the top or barbed wire. Sometimes the fence seems pretty easy to get over. But not at our place.

So in the dream the two men said that they had to hang a photo and it had been prearranged with the owner of the house. I was home alone and said that I needed to reach Mineska and I couldn't get her on the phone and also I realized that I had no idea how to call 911 or whatever 911 would be here. It was very scary. Especially since the photo was ugly and I knew the homeowners would never have prearranged to have it hung in their home while they were away.

Whales

 
We saw a whale yesterday!!! Or should I say we saw like twenty whales. We were driving along the coast and Mineska suddenly pulled the car across two lanes of traffic and parked the wrong way. She pointed out into the bay and there was an enormous whale just laying there. He would bob his head out of the water, and then his body, and then his flipper and then suddenly he would completely breach out of the water. It was magnificent!
There were some whales that just layed there and some that would breach and breach and breach a million times. I have a photo kind of...my camera wouldn't focus properly. It was so cool. If you look by the pole in the above photo you'll see the splash. I might have gotten a better photo with my non-digital camera.

Wrong side of the road driving

When Mineska picked me up from the airport and we were going to the car, she had to pay the ticket and so she said she would meet me at the car. I walked up and started to get in the passenger side, but there was a steering wheel there! I forgot this is a left side country. So I hopped in the drivers' side, which is the passenger's side here.
On the freeway, I saw a tiny little boy driving a car. I was just about to ask how old you have to be to get your license here and then I realized the little boy was the passenger.

It's also confusing when walking and trying to cross the street. You have to look right first, then left. If you put your foot out and look left first you might get hit by a car.

Did I mention that traffic is insane here? People drive a little crazier. The roads are also narrower and there's less room for error. And if you're South African, you would say the traffic is "hectic".

My favorite thing to say now is, "do you have _________ in South Africa?" Yesterday, it was paper towels.

Gail -- "Girls Next Door" is called "Girls of the Playboy Mansion" here. Also, when they swear, it's not bleeped out and when the boobies come out, they are not fuzzy.